Total pages in book: 195
Estimated words: 185573 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 928(@200wpm)___ 742(@250wpm)___ 619(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 185573 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 928(@200wpm)___ 742(@250wpm)___ 619(@300wpm)
“I’m glad you came,” I tell her.
She peeks up at me from beneath her long, dark lashes. “I liked your music,” she says softly. “Your voice is… hypnotic.”
She couldn’t know. She couldn’t possibly have any idea that she’s told me that before. But it sparks something in me, and before I even realize what I’m doing, I drag her body against me and cradle her face between my palms. I just fucking go for it and kiss her because I have to. The moment our lips touch, it jump-starts my heart again, and I release the agony that’s been bottled up in my chest since we’ve been apart. Bianca gasps, but for a minute, I have her. She’s parting her lips and melting against me, letting me taste her. She’s breathing her breath into me while her hands settle against my chest. And in these stolen seconds, everything is right in the world. She feels something familiar in me, and I want to believe maybe she can take a leap of faith and trust me with it, but she doesn’t. After a minute, she pulls away abruptly, staring up at me with wide, confused eyes.
“I…” she sputters as she clutches her stomach. “Oh my God.”
She darts into the bathroom and slams the door before I can stop her. And then I hear the distinct sound of her vomiting into the toilet.
“Bianca.” I press my palm against the door as a thousand thoughts race through my mind. “Are you okay?”
Birdie appears at the end of the hall, walking down to join me, and when she hears Bianca retching, her eyes snap to mine.
“What the fuck is going on?” I growl. “Is she sick?”
Birdie looks like she’s going to be sick over the question. And it isn’t until she jerks her head forcefully that I put the pieces together. The ginger ale. The timing. The fact that I fucked Bianca and came inside her over and over again.
The question leaves my lips in a hollow voice. “Is she pregnant?”
Birdie glances at the door, torn by her loyalties, but it doesn’t matter because the answer is in her eyes. Everything around me fades away as the door becomes my singular focus. When it opens again, and Bianca steps out into the hall, her face is pale, and she looks so fucking fragile it guts me.
“Come home with me,” I blurt the words without really thinking about the consequences. “I’ll take care of you, Bianca. Please. I fucking miss you. I promise everything will be okay if you just come home. You can stay in a different room. Everything will be on your terms. I just… I need to be near you. I need to know you’re okay.”
“I can’t.” She shakes her head and takes a step back, her panicked expression forcing me to remain where I am. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t do this.”
She leaves me standing there, and Birdie whispers an apology before she takes off after her. I’m still staring at the empty hall when Ace comes to collect me five minutes later.
“You okay, brother?” he asks quietly.
“She’s never going to let me back in,” I murmur, feeling so fucking empty I can barely breathe.
Ace doesn’t offer me false hope. He dips his head and acknowledges that what I just said is probably true because he can see it for himself.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I wish there was something I could do.”
I nod at him, choking on the bitterness of our reality. She’s having my baby, but she doesn’t even know who I am.
“I need to get out of here,” I tell him.
He follows me back down the hall, and I find Kieran and Tori on one of the old leather sofas in the midst of the crowd. They can’t seem to peel their eyes away from each other, and it leaves a heavy feeling in my chest. I remember a time not so long ago when Bianca looked at me that way, too.
“Hey,” I shout over the noise of the crowd. “I think I’m gonna split and go back home. Not really feeling the music scene tonight. But I’ll take the girls and put them to bed. You two stay out as long as you like.”
“Really?” Tori asks, her eyes darting to Olivia.
“I’ve got it,” I assure her. “Hang out and enjoy yourself.”
Kieran gives me a grateful nod, and Tori smiles.
“Thank you, Madden.”
Chapter 78
Bianca
—PAST—
“He’s irritable.” Kieran glances at the hospital door. “He doesn’t want to be here. They’re going to discharge him soon, and I don’t know what the fuck to do anymore.”
His exhaustion is palpable. I know that feeling all too well, and I wish I could tell him I had an answer. But a part of me worries Madden’s addiction is a tether that won’t fray, even as he’s staring down his own death. I’ve watched him for months, withering away in the concert videos his fans post online. He’s become a shell of the man I know and love. And at times, it seems so much like a reflection of myself, it feels like I’m dying too. We’re linked in this way, and we always have been. He’s my only solace in this world. The one thing I can’t give up on. The one thing that keeps me holding on.