Total pages in book: 131
Estimated words: 126682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 507(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
The news is like blows raining down on my head. “Is any part of me whole?”
“As I said, you’re lucky to be alive.”
“I’m half-blind, half-deaf, half-cripple, and my organs resemble sieves.”
What good is half a man to anyone? What do I have left to offer Anya? I sure as hell am not fit to protect her.
He pats my shoulder. “Depending on your progress and if infection doesn’t set in, we’re looking at a discharge date of as early as a month.” He studies the monitors next to the bed with an impersonal smile. “Everything looks good. If you feel strong enough, I can send your wife up. She’s anxious to see you.”
“No,” I say, my tone clipped.
Giving me a surprised look, he says, “A moment ago, you were eager.”
“I changed my mind. She doesn’t need to see me like this.”
He frowns. “Mr. De Luca, you saved her and the baby’s lives. She’d want to assure herself that you’re fine.”
“No.” My answer is harsh. “There’s no need to submit her to more horror.”
Bafflement washes over his features. “If that’s what you wish.” He continues in a professional tone. “How’s your pain? I can up the morphine if necessary.”
Angry at fate, I say with a cold smile, “I don’t feel a thing.”
As far as sentiments go, that just about sums it up. Except for the anger, everything inside me is cold. Numb.
“I’ll check on you before my shift ends.” He hesitates. “The fact that you’re breathing, Mr. De Luca, is nothing short of a miracle. When the shock wears off and you’ve had time to come to terms with your injuries, you’ll be grateful for that.”
He walks to the door, and then I’m alone.
He’s wrong.
I’ll never be grateful for being half the man I used to be. The only thing I’m grateful for is that Anya is alive and that she had a healthy baby girl.
As far as the rest goes, both of us would’ve been better off if I were dead.
Chapter
Four
Anya
* * *
Ten little fingers and toes.
I count them again under the blanket that covers us, cradling the tiny bundle in the hospital nursery where we’re doing skin-to-skin bonding. The nurse calls it kangaroo care.
I pin my chin against my chest to stare at the perfect little baby in my arms. A downy layer of soft strawberry-blond hair covers her head. She’s the most beautiful and fragile small human I’ve seen.
“Hey there, Claire,” I croon. “You came into this world with a bang, didn’t you?” My heart constricts painfully just thinking about it. “You’re so well-loved, sweet darling.” I press a kiss on her crown. “Mommy will protect you, no matter what.”
I glance at the window where Dante waits on the other side. I had to dump the title of godfather on him before they’d let him into the special care nursery. He’s not as much here to welcome Claire into the world as to assess the weak points in the security system. Men are already stationed in the maternity unit as well as in the ICU.
When the nurse tells me it’s time to put Claire back in the incubator, I hold her against me for another moment before I let her go. Dante turns his back to the window while I button up my pajama top.
A nurse wheels me outside.
“I’ve got her from here,” Dante says, taking the wheelchair.
I twist my neck to look at my baby as he pushes me to the elevators, unwilling to say goodbye to her already.
“She’s gorgeous,” he says. “So tiny. I didn’t know babies are that fucki—” He coughs. “Sorry. That small.”
“Just say it, Dante. You can swear in front of me. Saverio only asked you not to because babies can discern voices in the womb.”
He pushes the button to call the elevator. “They can?”
“They can hear sounds like the mother’s heartbeat from as early as sixteen weeks. They only make out voices from six or seven months, but you know how Saverio can be.”
“Over the top?” he says with a chuckle.
My chest squeezes when I think about my overbearing and overprotective husband.
When the doors open, Dante pushes me inside.
“Well, fuck me,” he says. “I didn’t know that about babies, not that I know anything.” He laughs. “Hell, it feels good to express myself properly again.”
“As long as you don’t swear in front of Claire.”
“Cross my heart.” He selects our floor. “I’ll be an exemplary godfather.”
“You don’t have to be.” I add, “Her godfather, I mean.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m honored.”
“Saverio will like that.”
I stifle a sob, willing my heart not to break now. If I start crying, I won’t be able to stop, and Dante is right. I have to be strong. There’s much to be done.
“Even if he doesn’t, I’m not giving up my title.” Dante chuckles. “Never had a goddaughter before. I think I’m going to enjoy spoiling her.”