Cluelessly Yours – It’s A Funny Story Read Online Max Monroe

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
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Dale doesn’t respond, but he does try to comply, if poorly.

Kendall sighs and continues her evaluation, her attention now on listening to my heart, lungs, and bowel function with her stethoscope.

And Sammy and Brooke are still playing some weird version of eyeball ping-pong.

Truthfully, my head is starting to fucking hurt from trying to understand what is going on in this room.

There’s a part of me that wonders if this is all some kind of hallucination. Like, maybe I’ve dreamed that I’ve woken up, but I haven’t woken up at all?

“Noah, everything is looking really good,” Kendall updates and slides her stethoscope back over her shoulders. “I still want to do a follow-up MRI on your head, as well as a follow-up CT of your abdomen to make sure your spleen is behaving and there’s not anything else we missed. But other than that, I think you’re well on your way to a full recovery.”

“Great news,” Dale says, but his voice is quieter than normal. “Now, let’s head on out, babe, and let Noah rest.”

Kendall looks at him, her expression half bewilderment and half annoyance, evidently feeling as fed up as I am. “Seriously? What is your deal?”

He clears his throat and leans closer to her to whisper, “Nothing, babe. I just think we need to give Noah some space.”

While they quietly bicker back and forth, I focus my attention back on Sammy. My head might feel fuzzy as fuck, but I know for a fact that the reason we’re both in this damn hospital has everything to do with her walking away from me. I know that when I left the conscious plane, she was not in any way comfortable with the thought of me having a baby with another woman. Hell, neither was I.

But I don’t know. Maybe the accident changed how she felt?

“Sammy.” I lift my hand, reaching for hers, only capable of brushing her fingertips with mine.

She looks down at me, and I search her eyes. “Are you okay?” I ask, and she nods. It’s not enough for me. “Seriously, Sammy, I think we need to—”

“Noah,” she says, cutting me off before I can finish. “Everything is good.”

“But Sammy, I really—”

“Noah, everything is good. Seriously.” She steps closer to squeeze my hand. “I promise.”

“Sammy, there are things I want to—”

“It’s fine,” she cuts me off again. “All good in the hood.”

What the—?

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Brooke shouts into the otherwise silent room. “Noah, the baby isn’t yours!”

Time pauses. Brakes squeal to a stop inside my head. And in the distance, I’m pretty sure I can hear sirens. Or explosions. Or, I don’t know, the end of the fucking world.

“The baby isn’t mine?” I question, looking directly at Ashley. “What?”

“Sorry, Ashley,” Brooke mutters with a frown. “I just…I couldn’t take it any longer! Blame it on the hormones.”

I look at Sammy and then at Ashley again, and then my eyes make the circuit of the room, realizing that the only person in here who isn’t looking at Ashley is Dale.

“C’mon, Ken,” he tells his wife and even wraps his arm around her shoulders. “We should give them some privacy.”

Kendall shakes him off. “Stop, Dale.”

My eyes are back on Ashley, waiting for an answer to the very important fucking question I just asked, but her gaze isn’t looking anywhere near me.

No. She’s looking straight at Dale.

And the entire room goes silent. Until Kendall asks, “Dale, why is she looking at you?”

Dale’s mouth gapes, but then he quickly slams it shut. Ashley now has tears in her eyes.

“Dale?” Kendall questions again, her voice rising in irritation. “Why is she looking at you like that?”

“I’m an idiot,” Dale mutters, running a hand through his hair. “Baby, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Kendall asks. “You’re sorry? Why are you sorry?”

“Ken, let’s just step outside and talk, okay?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “You need to tell me right now. What the fuck is going on?”

“Baby, we really should—”

“Dale!” Kendall steps closer to him, her face mere inches from his as she pokes a finger into his chest. “Tell me I have this all wrong. Tell me you have no involvement with that woman and the child inside her belly.”

Dale swallows hard again. “Kendall, I’m so sorry.”

“Holy shit,” Brooke whispers.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ashley isn’t pregnant with my baby. She’s pregnant with Dale’s baby. And I probably would have figured it out faster if I weren’t coming out of a fucking coma.

One of my best friends cheated on his wife with one of my exes, and I got pulled into his bullshit drama. Hell, the woman I love almost fucking died because of his drama.

I’m pissed.

Kendall’s normally confident face is flush with heartbreaking disbelief.

And fuck if that doesn’t make me even angrier.

“It didn’t mean anything, baby. I’m so sorry,” Dale whines, trying to grab his wife’s hands, but Kendall pushes him away. If I could move without excruciating pain, I’m pretty sure I’d lay him out.


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