Cluelessly Yours – It’s A Funny Story Read Online Max Monroe

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
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Someone named Sammy.

I’m man enough to admit that when I think about Sammy and the way she makes me feel, it’s not hard for me to imagine a future with her. She’s the kind of woman you cherish. The kind of woman that makes you want to settle down.

And if I’m truly honest, it didn’t take more than meeting her once for me to know that.

Seven months ago, Brooke and Chase invited me to dinner, and my world changed forever.

I’d been to their apartment to share a meal with them a dozen times or more, but that night, Brooke’s sister Sammy was to attend too.

Sammy, late as usual, knocked on the door while both of the hosts were busy, so I went to answer it. Her arms were full of desserts she’d brought from the restaurant, and a magazine with an article about Brooke she wanted to share hung from her mouth because she had nothing else to carry it with. Expecting me to be Brooke, she called me an ore-hay—a whore in pig Latin—before looking up, and when the sound of my chuckle brought her startled aqua-green eyes to mine, she captured a part of me I’ve never gotten back.

With hope, humor, and embarrassment warring in her eyes, right then, she dropped the magazine and uttered a curse so creative it’ll live in my brain forever.

“Well, that’s fucktacular.”

My thought was immediate, and I haven’t changed my mind since.

This is the kind of woman you marry.

And a few days ago, the last time I saw her when we had lunch together in my on-call room and it turned into another round of mind-blowing sex, I had the thought again.

The truth is, I have it all the time.

We’ve managed to stay in touch through text messages and phone calls since then, and I take that as a good sign. Without hesitation, I pull my phone out of my pocket and let her know I’m thinking about her.

Me: Did you survive Grant’s field trip today?

I’m pleasantly surprised when she responds a minute later.

Sammy: Remind me never to volunteer to chaperone ever again. If I smack my head or get amnesia or something, this is your most important task.

Me: LOL. It went that well, huh?

Sammy: Let’s just say, Grant’s teacher looked like she’d aged ten years by the time we got all forty kindergarteners back on the bus. Also, this morning, I made the grave mistake of telling the boys about the Yankees game on Sunday. So, it’s been quite the day.

Me: I take it they’re excited?

Sammy: Excited is putting it mildly, Noah. Honestly, coming into work this evening was a breath of fresh air because of all the “excitement.” Grant is convinced he can find a way to get the entire Yankees team to sign his cast, and Seth pretty much tore up my living room trying to make a poster to bring to the game. I’m pretty sure Zoe is going to be playing Twenty Questions: Yankees Edition all night.

I smile as I type out a response.

Me: What does Seth’s poster say?

Sammy: “My name Seth Brown. I luv Yankes basball!” I didn’t have the heart (or the patience) to tell him about the spelling errors.

Me: That’s fucking adorable. And it sounds like Zoe is about to have quite the night.

Sammy: Honestly, Noah. She could probably use some “sorrows, sorrows” prayers.

An audible laugh jumps from my lungs at the reference to Queen Charlotte, the Netflix show we decided to watch at the same time on Wednesday when we were on the phone together and Sammy had put the boys to bed.

“What’s so funny?”

I look up to find that Brooke and Chase have now made their way over to me, and Benji and Dolly are taking a water break near the bowls we always bring for them.

I can’t be sure, but it feels like Brooke is craning her neck to check the screen of my phone, and I quickly lock it. “Oh, nothing,” I say with a shrug and slide my phone back into my pocket.

“It didn’t seem like nothing. It seemed like you were having a full-fledged conversation with someone.” Brooke eyes me curiously. “Wait a minute…are you, like, texting with a woman?”

I don’t really know what to say to that.

For one, the anger in her voice catches me off guard. And two, I have no idea what Sammy has told her sister about us, and I sure as shit am not going to be the one to spill the beans on something I’m not supposed to be spilling.

That’s not my call to make.

“Seriously, Noah?” Brooke continues and puts one hand on her hip. “Are you seeing someone?”

“Uh…”

“Relax, Brooke,” Chase chimes in on a laugh. “Pretty sure it’s Noah’s business, babe. Not yours.”

“Not my business?” Brooke glares at her fiancé. “I’ve only been trying to hook him up with my sister for months and months, and the two of them can’t seem to get their heads out of their asses long enough to realize they’d be perfect for each other, and he’s texting some woman. He and Sammy slept together like a week ago, and now…what? Radio silence? They’re just going to act like it didn’t happen while he texts some woman?”


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