Cluelessly Yours – It’s A Funny Story Read Online Max Monroe

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
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Noah scoffs. “Coincidence.”

“Okay, what about Mo catching it at her friend Belinda’s right before her wedding to Vinny?”

“When have you been talking to Mo about bouquet tosses?”

“Noah.” I roll my eyes and ignore his question entirely. “It means something. I can’t just spit on tradition like that.”

“Okay, then just tell her we got married. She’ll understand.”

“She will not.”

“Baby, you’re killing me here. Should we get a divorce just so you can tell your sister we’re not married, then plan a wedding that she can attend and get remarried?”

“No!” I shout, horrified at the prospect of being anything but Noah Philips’s wife.

Noah pulls me close and pushes his lips to mine, and I melt into the contact like butter. “Good. Because that isn’t an option. I love you, Sammy Philips, and I’m not giving you up.”

“I love you too, Noah Philips. But, so help me, if you don’t keep your voice down, I’m going to scream.”

He laughs and shakes his head as the DJ makes the announcement we’ve been waiting for. “Okay, everyone. I need all the single ladies to make their way to the dance floor for the tossing of the bouquet.”

I quiver under the stress of my nerves, and Noah gives me a little shove to the bum in my sister’s direction.

She’s beckoning with wide eyes and an excited wave, and I trudge my way to the front of the crowd.

She dances to the strummy music the DJ plays, and everyone shouts as she turns to throw the bouquet.

Three tense seconds pass before she turns back to me and throws it right at me like a baseball player doling out a fastball pitch.

I dodge and weave, shouting as the flowers hit me in the shoulder and fall to the floor like a bird that’s been shot from the sky.

The music stops, and Brooke stares, a disbelieving look on her beautiful face.

“Did you just…dodge my bouquet toss? What the hell is going on, Sammy? Don’t you want to marry Noah?”

All of a sudden, I can’t stand the tension for a second longer.

“Brooke, I’m already married!” I blurt out. There’s a moment in time when everything ceases to be, and then…boom!

“Are you flipping kidding me?” Brooke screeches so loud that all anyone can do is stare at us.

“Flipping kidding, flipping kidding!” Grant shouts at my side. Noah sweeps in and ushers him away, his sweet lips at my cute boy’s ear.

“You got married?” Brooke questions, but her eyes are like tiny lasers as they home in on my face. And her voice, well, it’s still really fucking loud. “You got married without me there to see it?”

Briefly, I glance around the room, noting that the entire reception is still looking at us, my shocked parents included, but eventually, I do my best to tune it out and focus on my sister. “Brooke, I’m sorry that I’ve burst your bubble. I’m sorry that I got married without you there, but I’m not sorry that I got married. I…couldn’t help it. I couldn’t wait. I just…had to marry Noah. I love him.” I shrug. “Can you forgive me?”

Brooke just stares at me. No words. No movement. Just a whole lot of glaring.

Chase approaches her with Emmy in his arms and pulls her into an encouraging hug. “Come on, baby. This is what you’ve always wanted, right?”

I nod enthusiastically. “It is. It’s what you’ve wanted, Brooke. Remember? Remember how badly you wanted me to see it?”

“I remember,” she mutters.

“Oh, and also, remember how scary the thought of wine on your dress was? My blood would definitely be worse.”

She narrows her eyes, but I push on.

“So, please, please forgive me.”

She considers me for a long moment, and then her face transforms into what I can only describe as a sinister smile.

“Okay, Sammy. I forgive you.”

“You do?” I ask shakily, quite suspicious because of the look on her face.

“I do.”

“Oh, thank God. I was so worried—”

“But just because I forgive doesn’t mean I’ll forget.” She closes the distance between us to pull me into a hug. “I’ll get my revenge.”

“What?” I question, leaning back to meet her eyes. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, Sammy.” She winks. “You’ll see.”

10 months later…

June

Sammy

“Okay, you guys, I’m off!” I call from my spot in the entryway, dressed and ready to tackle another shift at the restaurant.

But Noah is the only one who walks out to see me off.

Although, both Seth and Grant do shout, “Bye, Mom!”

“Man, I feel so loved right now,” I tease, and Noah just pulls me into his arms for a hug and a kiss.

“Have a good night at work. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I whisper, but he doesn’t release me from his embrace. Instead, he holds me tightly for another minute or so.

“Make sure you take care of yourself, okay?” he questions. “Find time to take a break and get off your feet for a little bit. Eat something. Drink water. All the good stuff, okay?”


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