Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83814 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83814 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
“I meant what I said in there.” I slump beside my brother and look at the ceiling. “I know I screwed up. Running from Valentin was bad enough. And honestly, I was going to marry Adriano, but—“
“But life happened instead.” Lev’s talking quietly now. “I get it, Nat. I really do. You know, I heard the way you and Alex were talking at Fed the other night, and I’ve been thinking about that.”
“Really? What do you mean?”
“About the baby. About raising it together.” He’s staring hard down at his hands. “It could be worse, you know. You could be pregnant with that child and married to Adriano. Alex would go insane, knowing another man was raising his baby. Could you imagine?”
“He’d be the fucking worst.”
“Right? So self-righteous and depressed all the time. I’m glad that didn’t happen.”
I smile slightly. I know he’s joking around to make me feel better, but I don’t know why. “You don’t have to do this, you know. You have every right to hate me.”
“I don’t. Not really.”
“Why? Seriously Lev, why not? I fucked up everything.”
“You’re my sister. No, seriously, that’s all there is to it. You’re my sister and we’re running out of family, right? Step’s gone and losing him put a lot of shit into perspective for me. I was pissed when you ran off with Alex, but now I get it. I see the way you two are together, and I get it.”
I nod, feeling miserable. “What are you going to do?”
“We both know I don’t have much of a choice.”
“That’s the thing. You should.”
“Yeah, maybe, but that’s not the way things are. Step died and I was pushed into his position. No choice there. You got pregnant, and now I’m doing what you couldn’t. Still no choice there. I’ll survive, because it’s what I do.”
“Lev—“ I try to say something, but there are no words. My throat swells with tears and I have to blink them away. I don’t want to start crying and make him feel freaking worse than I already have.
“It’s okay. I’m glad you got to yell at Dad a little at least.” He gives me a sideways hug, pulling me against him briefly. “Good luck, little sister. I mean that with all sincerity. I want you to be happy.”
“Yeah, Lev. I want you to be happy too.”
He only gives me one of his big, charming smiles, before walking off. I watch him go and something about that feels weird to me. Good luck? Why is he saying good luck?
But before I can chase after him, Alex appears at the end of the hall. I go to my husband and he kisses me, and I tell him about what happened with my father as we get the hell out of that house, but something still isn’t sitting right as he drives me back home to the apartment.
Chapter 38
Alexander
“No, this is total and utter bullshit,” Natalya says as she stands in the doorway to the nursery, her arms crossed over her chest. “I honestly can’t stand it.”
“You’re going to have to be more specific, my darling wife.” I put down my little makeshift easel and paintbrush and wipe my hands on my jeans.
She groans and shakes her head. “You’re painting a mural for our baby. It’s like… it’s unfair. How are you this attractive and also artistically gifted? Like, did you save a baby in a past life or something?”
I laugh and look at the wall. The image of a bundle of balloons is projected right where I want to put the crib and I’ve been spending the last half hour filling in the shapes with color. “I wouldn’t call this painting exactly. More like tracing.”
“It’s still really good. And stupidly sweet.”
“Want to help?”
“I’d better, or else you’re going to tell our kid for the next fifty years how you painted their nursery’s mural, put together all the furniture, bought all the supplies, and decorated everything, while their mother sat around and watched.”
“You’re growing them. I think we’re even.”
“Fair point.” She pats her belly, grinning. “Paint for me then, big boy.”
I roll my eyes and get back to work.
Natalya joins me after a few minutes and we spend a while putting together the mural while laughing and joking with each other.
It feels good. It feels like we’re already a family, even though it’s only the two of us so far. But the promise of the baby hangs over everything. In a few months, that child’s coming, and our lives are going to change radically forever.
Right now, it’s her and me. I can kiss her, tease her, and make her laugh. I can run my hand through her hair and bite her lower lip. I can pull her against me, wipe a little paint on her cheek, and squeeze her ass.
I can be with her, no hesitation, no worries, no perfection.