Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83814 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83814 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
For a moment, his hands are on my body again. He’s holding me against him and looking down with this fiery stare, and I remember that look from back in Paris. IT’s the same look he gave me when he walked into the room and I was playing piano without my clothes on.
“Careful,” I whisper, not sure who I’m even talking to at his point. I’m so fucking annoyed with him, but my pulse is racing out of control at how close we are right now.
“I’m being very careful with you, printsessa.”
A thrill runs into my stomach at the pet name, and for one stupid moment neither of us moves. I stay on top of him, and he keeps his hands on my hips, inches from my ass.
Until I realize how stupid this is and show myself away.
“Just stop being such an arrogant ass for once in your life, okay? We’re sleeping in separate rooms.”
“No, we aren’t. That guest room will become the baby’s nursery. The office will remain my office. And this is going to be our room. End of discussion.”
“God, you really think you know what’s best all the time, don’t you?”
“Only because I’m usually right.”
I stand there, glaring at him, heart racing, wishing he’d cross over here and take me by the hair and slams his mouth into mine, and hating myself just a little bit for wanting that, before I finally storm out with my hands thrown in the air.
I curl up on the couch in a nest of blankets and pillows but everything feels wrong.
It’s not just the situation—that’s bad enough—but it’s also the apartment. The sounds are different, the ceiling is different, just everything is different, and no matter how many different breathing exercises I try, I just can’t fall asleep.
My Paris apartment was a little crap hole. It was tiny, cramped, way too hot, and smelled bad on trash day when the garbage piled up outside. But it was mine, it was comfortable, and I found a way to be happy there.
All of this is Alex’s and I don’t know how I’m going to fit in.
I get up and drift outside. The night is cool and surprisingly comfortable. The view is absolutely gorgeous—lights sparkle off the Delaware and I can see New Jersey not that far away. I tip a toe into the pool and consider turning on the heater, but instead opt to stand at the railing, looking out at the night.
This is my life from now on.
I’m not sure how I ended up here.
I was never Daddy’s favorite—that was Stepan, followed by Lev—but at least he treated me decently. I was allowed to play sports. I could have friends, and some of them were even boys. I had a car, a part time job, and a little bit of freedom. I always knew this might be my future, but back then it seemed like I might escape one day.
And then slowly it became clear that wasn’t ever going to happen.
I just desperately wanted someone to understand me—to see me as someone worthy of love and attention for who I am and not for who my father is—but now I’m not sure it’ll ever happen. Alex cares about me, but only so far as I’m the wife of his child. Beyond that? I can’t really tell.
Now I’ve lost Lev too. The last person that truly loved me. My brother’s going to hate me forever for this, and I can’t even blame him.
I try not to cry, but tears stream down my face anyway.
All this for a baby.
The door slides open. I jolt and look over my shoulder as Alex appears beside me. He’s in tight black joggers and a light gray t-shirt. His hair’s messy from lying in bed and he’s got a slight bruise on his face from where my father hit him. He leans his elbows on the railing and doesn’t sa anything, only stares out across the water, and the light dances across his square jaw and full lips, and I can’t look anywhere else.
He’s beautiful, especially out here in the moonlight. It’s almost ethereal and ghostly. He looks like an angel, but I know he’s more like a devil than anything else.
“Can’t sleep,” he says, still not looking at me.
“That’s strange. It’s almost like you’re in your own bed.”
I don’t know why I’m trying to antagonize him right now, but he doesn’t take the bait.
“I come out here sometimes too in the summer. It’s nice out here at night. There’s a breeze off the river and shipping containers unload on the docks. I like to watch those.”
I follow his gaze south and can see the port in the distance. “Is that why you bought this place?”
He smiles to himself and shakes his head. “You know the kind of family I grew up in. We never had any money, mostly because my dad gambled it all away. Well, when I started getting paid, it was like an entirely new world. This was the first nice place I saw when I was looking to buy, and I signed the lease on the spot because it was the most expensive listing on the market at the time.”