Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 66453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 332(@200wpm)___ 266(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 332(@200wpm)___ 266(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
“Is everything okay?” Selena asked on our last morning. We were eating breakfast in our room, at the small dining table that overlooked the Village Square. The star atop the Christmas tree was level with our window. She had a small frown on her face, and her brow was knit. I’d done my best to hide it, but she knew something was off. Something had shifted in the last twelve hours.
“I’m fine.” I fucking love you. I took a bite of my eggs and tried to swallow the thought.
“You don’t seem fine,” she observed. “Is it work?”
It’s you. Stop being perfect. “Yeah, maybe. It’s a busy time.” Another bite of eggs.
She stood up and came around to stand over me. Taking the fork out of my hand, she moved my arm out of the way so she could slide into my lap. “Is there anything I can do?”
Then my internal monologue shut down because her lips were so close to mine, and she was naked underneath her silky robe. I kissed her, feeling helpless to do anything else. One day we’d have to hurt each other. One day, it would be ugly. But not today. I was going to let the magic of Christmas World soak in a little longer.
When we got back to LA, we slipped back into our old routine. We carefully avoided each other in the office, then met up at my place whenever we could. Mrs. Kloss’s Christmas Ball was drawing closer, and it was keeping Selena busy. She hadn’t asked if I was coming–she knew I wasn’t. I didn’t tell her I wished I could. It was too close to telling her the truth.
I wished I could be the man who could show up for her in every way.
“Why can’t you be with her?” Julian asked me at lunch after prying out the reason for my bad mood.
“Because she wants things I can’t give her, so I would be a shitty person to try to hold onto her,” I explained.
“That’s never bothered you before.” Julian flashed a quick smile to let me know he was kidding, but it dropped away quickly. “I think you’re overthinking this. What exactly does she want that you can’t give?”
“Everything,” I said bluntly. “She wants the whole package with someone. Marriage, kids, die holding hands after seventy years of marriage. She told me that upfront.”
“And you want to die alone.” Julian nodded, his face filled with mocking understanding. “Got it.”
“Fuck off,” I muttered. I knew it was a mistake to talk to Julian about this. He was filled with bullshit romantic notions about love. If I’d put money on anyone in our group to get married, it would have been him. Ironically, he was the last single man standing. I signaled for the check even though our food hadn’t even been delivered yet.
“Calm down and wait for your fucking burger,” Julian said, his face becoming serious again. “I say this for your own good–get your head out of your ass. Stop calculating and start feeling. You love her. Forget the rest. Forget her age and how Jake and Marjorie will react. Forget you’re an emotionally stunted asshole. The rest will figure itself out.”
“This isn’t one of your stupid movies, Julian. This is real life. Shit doesn’t just figure itself out.” I paused as the server came by and dropped off our food. “The best thing I can do for her is leave her the hell alone so she can find the right guy.”
“Then do it,” Julian said, giving up on me. “Then, when you regret it, I hope she gives you another chance.”
28
SELENA
On Tuesday night, I drove straight from work to Dominic’s. I was surprised to find him sitting on the front steps, elbows resting on his knees, fingers bridged together. A hard, uncompromising look on his face that reminded me of the old days. How he used to look.
“Hi,” I said uncertainly as I got out of the car and approached him. Usually, he met me at my car, kissing me even before I’d closed the door. Now he didn’t move.
“Hi,” he returned. He straightened slowly to his full height. “Come in.”
It didn’t sound like an invitation, though. It sounded…ominous somehow. I had the sudden urge to get back in my car, reverse through the gate, and flee back to my apartment before whatever he was about to do could be done. But at the same time, determination flushed through me. I wasn’t going to go away so easily. I wasn’t going to just disappear for him. If he had made up his mind to tell me it was over, I was going to make it as hard as possible.
In the kitchen, he didn’t have a bottle of red wine breathing on the counter. No dinner prep laid out across the island. It was my second indication that something was wrong. The fact he had his car keys tucked in his back pocket was the third.