Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 103721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103721 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
Prologue
Benson and Cameron.
Cam and Benny.
No matter what name anyone uses, the two of them have a history.
A history that is unforgettable. One that, no matter how much time passes, binds them to each other. The outside world doesn’t know what happened, but their friends say it’s a messy history, and their parents are still upset about what transpired between the two. For them, no matter what, no matter who, they’ll always be a part of each other’s past. It wasn’t easy sitting side by side in the clinic for the abortion Cameron chose to have, nor was it easy for them afterward. Cameron was convinced Benson would leave her to heal on her own, go live his life, but as he had from the moment she’d told him about the pregnancy, he stood by her side.
Or rather, lay by her side.
For a week, Benson didn’t leave Cameron’s room. He pushed off his trip home to stay with her until she was healed. Physically, that is. Emotionally, she was pretty sure it would take years for both of them to recover. He lay with her, he got her snacks, he watched trash TV that he hated, but most of all, he was that silent pillar of strength for her to lean on. He didn’t question her; she didn’t question him. They stayed in her room, and they existed together, in comfortable unity.
Nobody could ever understand their fears, their sadness, their what-ifs. The maybe we shouldn’t have. The maybe we should have gone through with the pregnancy. But they both knew doing that wasn’t what they wanted. They were young, babies themselves, only eighteen, and both with huge goals that didn’t include being parents yet. It wasn’t the thought of being tied to each other—they both cared for each other, maybe even liked each other more than they thought, so that wouldn’t be an issue. It was the fact that neither was ready for a child. Not that those words were ever uttered after it was done. Cameron and Benson sat, ate, and watched TV. As friends, who were lovers at one time, and now were connected over a choice that would always be a part of them.
When they parted after that week, Benson left a kiss on Cameron’s lips that still lingered there even after all the time apart. Some would say she was a bitch for cutting him off when he left for home, but what no one would ever understand was that every time his name popped up on her phone, it hurt her. It made her yearn for him, made her remember the pain from the choice she’d made. The guilt would suffocate her because why would he want anything to do with her after everything that had happened? He was so supportive, so kind, and after a few texts, the shame of not answering him kept her from doing so.
She was embarrassed, while all Benson wanted was to talk to her. To hear her voice, to make sure she was okay. Unfortunately, he wasn’t given that opportunity, and he never understood why. Instead of demanding it when he saw Cameron on campus, he gave her space. He watched her from afar, but never, not even a bit, could he shake his feelings for her.
Days turned into weeks with no contact whatsoever that whole summer and even into the start of their sophomore year. Benson figured that was how his life would be. Cameron wasn’t meant to be in it.
That thought never felt right, though. And when Benson walked into media day for the Bellevue Bullies hockey team to find the Bellevue gymnastics team in attendance, he couldn’t stop himself from being hopeful. It caught him off guard to see all the sparkling leotards and gorgeous girls, but only one stood out for him. It had been seven months since he’d seen her and, as before, her beauty was unmatched.