Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 104165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
But if I was so horrible to him in some past life, why didn’t Moira freak out when she met me? How long ago was it, anyway?
My thoughts spiral with questions only Domhnall can answer. Which only makes me more furious. Because he’s got me locked down here and asking him to talk would mean giving in and inviting my captor back in. Not that he’ll sit down and have a civil conversation with me.
Or would he?
Maybe if I could just make him understand. Sometimes he almost seems… familiar. Like I swear I—
The doctors said things would start to feel familiar.
Nothing has. Except the man who’s taken me captive.
Which is so beyond fucked up I don’t even know what to do with it. I can’t even describe what about him is familiar. Memories feel like a word on the tip of my tongue I can’t quite recall. But they’re so close. It’s like I feel the weight of her—the person I was—heavier when I’m near him.
He’s the key.
But everything he says… If he’s delusional, his delusions have logic to them. It’s just that whatever he thinks about me, he’s wrong.
Because whoever I am, I know I’m not bad.
I mean… I’d know, wouldn’t I, if I was some really bad, evil person at my core? A memory can’t change the essence of who a person is, can it?
It can’t change my— My soul.
I have to still be who I was if I believe that so strongly, right? You can’t have beliefs if you aren’t, like, someone with a soul to even have those beliefs. I know right and wrong, and I’m a person who does the right thing.
But if that’s true, why does Domhnall have me down in this dungeon? Something happened. Something bad.
Or he’s just a liar and a madman who likes to kidnap women down to his dungeon so he can do… things to them.
It’s around this point in the spiral of thoughts that I’d usually start screaming again. Because when I’m alone, my thoughts torture me instead of him. I always think I’m getting somewhere only to arrive back at the beginning. At another dead end.
My mind is a maze, and feeling her—the memory of who I might have been— haunting like a ghost whispering further and further out of reach the longer I go without seeing Domhnall… None of it is getting me anywhere.
At least when he’s here, I occasionally get more pieces to the puzzle. And the tickle of her at the edge of my consciousness gives me hope that one day, I’ll get to look her in the face and know once and for all:
Who am I?
Good or evil? Regardless of whatever story Domhnall has to tell, once I remember, then I’ll know the truth. I just need the truth. I have to know. I have to know who I am.
That’s why I eventually give in. Or so I tell myself.
It has nothing to do with the pull of the ghost inside me towards his every touch. His every glance. His every breath of attention towards me every moment he’s in the room.
Nothing at all.
Even now that I’ve given in to him, it feels like he takes an hour for the damnable ping of the elevator that signals his arrival.
When he comes into the room, I glare daggers at him.
He only smiles, obviously amused by my fury. I’m back to wanting to tear his eyeballs out. The anger inside me is suddenly so big, even though I thought I’d screamed every possible scream out, I want to scream in his face for leaving me like that. Even though I wanted him to go. None of it makes any sense, and that only makes me more furious, especially because I can’t deny the relief and happiness at seeing him again. Not that I’ll let him fucking see that.
“You wanted my attention,” he says. “You have it. Do you yield or should I turn around and go back upstairs?”
“Let me out of these fucking cuffs. You’re a goddamned fucking bastard to leave me like this for days on end.”
He chuckles. “I thought we’ve already established that I’m a sadist. But it’s only been thirty-two hours, my love.”
I gape in astonishment. He’s got to be lying. It has to have at least been four days, if not a week.
“I’ll unlock you now, and we’ll begin your training.”
Rage lights again, burning all along my skin. Answers. I just need answers. “Can we just have a conversation first? Please. You said I’m a liar. What did I supposedly lie to you about? Can you just fill me in on what’s making you do this?”
He shakes his head as he starts to unlock my wrists. “I’m finally letting you out of a punishment for being a stubborn pet and the first thing you want to do is antagonize me?”