Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 104165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
“Pull the doors shut and turn off the light.”
“Anna, this is—”
“I want to marry you,” she says, shutting me up. “But we need her permission, too.”
Fuck.
She was right. This is going to be complicated.
“It doesn’t feel right shutting you up in here like this.”
She shakes her head, obviously impatient with me. “This is just a shortcut to bring her out. I’ve done it dozens of times. It’s okay. Trust me.”
Fucking fuck. She’s scared of the dark. It’s her worst fear.
“Of course I trust you.” I can’t say anything else because I know its what she needs from me. And I’ll always give her what she needs, no matter how it kills me. Wasn’t that what this whole last year was about?
I thought that would be it, though. One great sacrifice, and then I’d be done. Some part of me actually thought, despite the bullshit I spew in therapy, that I could take up the reins again once Anna was back and be master of my own destiny again.
Fuck. This is going to be forever, isn’t it? I’m never going to feel that sense of control I did back when I was numbing all emotions and keeping everyone in my life at an arm’s length. I was a miserable fucking bastard, but I thought I was in control. Even if it was an illusion, it was a comforting one.
But… being happy is better. Being in the yellow and orange part of the feelings wheel is better. Letting Anna all the way into my fucked up, gnarly little center is fucking better. Even if it comes with chaos that’s always spinning me off my axis. I want it. I want all of it and all of her.
“Then—” She gestures with her head towards the doors. “What are you waiting for?”
I swallow hard, then close the closet doors on her with her inside.
“Now the lights,” comes her muffled voice. “All of them! And shut the curtains!”
Jaysus fecking Christ.
I hurry so I can get it over with. I yank the blackout curtains shut first, then turn off both bedside lamps we’d left on earlier, the only lights in the room. Finally, I shut the door, leaving the room in total darkness.
How long are we supposed to fucking wait? Standing here in the dark is even freaking me the fuck out—
A scream comes from the closet.
Fuck!
I pull the door back open so light streams in from the living room, then run to yank open the closet doors.
I’m not sure what I expected to find on the other side.
Anna in tears? Curled up in a ball, completely whacked out and dissociated like that night I found her in the cage?
Instead, I find her sitting in a yoga pose, looking up at me calmly as the dim light falls upon her face.
“Well hello, Domhnall. I’ve waited ever so long to meet you.”
EPILOGUE III
HER
Domhnall’s chest heaves up and down as he breathes, obviously shocked to meet me even though that was the intent of the little game they were playing.
I climb out of the closet, stretching as I go. The Chicago therapist made us—I’m sorry, not made us, merely intensely suggested that we—take up yoga to help us center ourselves. Even though I’ve informed her I’ve never had a problem being off center, thank you very much.
Domhnall’s hand comes down immediately to help me up and my breath hitches a little as I take it.
I’m embarrassed at the flush that hits me at the contact of his skin against mine.
But god, I’ve dreamed of touching this man for so long.
He pulls me up so we’re face to face, long dark lashes blinking over those piercing blue eyes of his. I can barely breathe at being this close to him.
“Are you okay?”
My hand reaches out to touch his face. It’s him. It’s really him.
But he flinches backwards before my fingers can make contact with his cheek, and it’s like a whip, lashing me. I take a step back from him.
“Playing hide and seek, hmm?” I straighten my shoulders contemptuously. “The girl always was so impatient. I’m sure I would have come out eventually. There’s no need to summon me like a ghost. Next thing I know she’s going to be pulling out a Ouija board.”
Domhnall cracks a smile. “You call Anna the girl?”
I glare at him primly. “She is. And I don’t see that you’ve grown up all that much since I last saw you, either.”
His eyebrows furrow and then I see pain and shame and devastation wash his features as realization hits him.
“You,” he whispers, crumpling in on himself a bit, though he doesn’t turn away or even move further back from me. “She saw the once, but the rest of the time… it was you stuffed in that old busted-looking footlocker across the room, wasn’t it?”
I blink, trying to swallow back sudden, foolish tears.