Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 98321 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98321 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 492(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
“I’m not sure I have.”
She parked her hands on her hips. “Stay for dinner. Want a beer?”
“Yes, please. Thank you.”
She went over to the fridge and pulled out a beer, popping off the cap. Just as she handed it to me, we heard the door slam downstairs, and Griffin appeared at the top of the steps with a grocery bag a moment later.
“Hey,” he said. “What’s up?”
Blair took the bag from her husband. “He came for advice, but I need to feed him too. He looks awful.”
Griffin looked at me. “What’s going on?”
I took a drink. “I fucked up with Bianca.”
“Again?” He headed over to the fridge and pulled out a beer for himself. “I thought she broke things off last weekend.”
“She did. But I went over there last night to give her some things she’d left at my house, and maybe try to talk to her, and it didn’t go well.”
“That’s because you tried to do more than talk,” put in Blair, chopping garlic with her back to us.
Griffin looked at me. “Is that true?”
“Uh, yeah. My approach might have been a problem.”
Blair sent me a look over one shoulder. “You think?”
“Well, I couldn’t help myself,” I said defensively. “I miss her, and I was all worked up because her brother had told me some bullshit about her going out every night, and I was picturing her talking to guys and getting jealous.” I stopped and shook my head, thumping my chest. “Me! Getting jealous of other guys!”
Griffin laughed. “What is the world coming to?”
“Fuck off. I’m not used to this, okay? I don’t like missing her. I don’t like this feeling.”
“What’s the feeling?” he asked, leaning back against the counter.
“I don’t even know what to call it, but it’s horrible. It feels like the worst flu I’ve ever had. My chest hurts, my stomach is churning all the time, and my head is all foggy and fucked up.”
Griffin nodded. “You’re in love with her.”
“For sure,” added Blair, pouring some olive oil in a sauté pan.
I hung my head, closing my eyes. “I saw her in church this morning, and I couldn’t even breathe. What am I going to do?”
“Get her back,” said Griffin.
“She doesn’t want me, Griff. She kicked me out last night.”
“Because you did it wrong,” Blair said, tossing the garlic into the pan. Within seconds it was sizzling and fragrant. “You strutted in there like a peacock and expected her to just fall into bed with you. You didn’t tell her how you felt.”
“Yes, I did,” I argued.
Griffin looked at me with suspicion.
“Okay, I sort of did,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck.
At the stove, Blair was shaking her head.
“What did you say?” Griffin asked.
“I told her I missed her—I said lots of nice things about missing her—but then she started in with all these questions, and I panicked.”
Griffin sipped his beer. “What kind of questions?”
“Like about the future,” I said, growing unnerved all over again. “She asked where we’d end up, and I didn’t know. I felt like she was expecting me to predict exactly what will happen. It’s impossible, isn’t it? How can you promise someone something like forever—until fucking death do you part—and not feel like you’re just gambling on it? To me, it seems like building a house without a blueprint. Hmm, let’s just start laying bricks and see what happens.” I shook my head. “It’s madness. And yet . . . I can’t see forever without her. I don’t want to.”
“You’re not wrong, Enzo,” Blair said, dumping a can of diced tomatoes into the pan. “It is a kind of madness. And it is a gamble. You have to be willing to take a risk.”
I exhaled. “Even if I am willing, how do I convince her to give me another chance? She keeps pushing me away. Even after she said she loved me, she pushed me away.”
“Okay, but think about that,” Blair said, stirring her sauce. “Let’s say she’s being honest about her feelings—because I think she is. She does love you. She didn’t want to, but she does. So why do you think she would push you away?”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I have no fucking idea.”
“I bet you do.”
I glared at her back. “You sound just like my mother. If I had all these answers, I wouldn’t be so miserable trying to read her mind—or yours!”
Blair adjusted the gas under the pan and turned around to face me. “Look, I’m trying to navigate this without betraying my friend. I’m sorry it’s frustrating for you. But I really think you can piece together why Bianca believes breaking it off with you now will save her a lot of heartache later.”
I thought back to her exact words last night. “She did say this one thing.”
“What was it?” Griffin asked.