Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 85976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
It was the most inane thing I could have said and could only be topped if I started talking about the weather.
His smile broadened. “You do too.”
I shook my head. “I’m in gym clothes with no makeup. You don’t have to lie.”
“I’m not lying, Marci. I’m not a fan of your outfit but you are as beautiful as always.”
“Thanks,” I said, and smiled more honestly than I had all day. This remark about my outfit would have set me off in the past, but I didn’t care about Giovanni’s approval anymore. Being perfect in everyone’s eyes had been ripped from my hands, and in many ways, it made life easier.
“Can I come closer?” Giovanni asked.
“Why would you ask?” But then it dawned on me. The rumors had reached his ears and he thought I’d be scared of his closeness. Not that he’d been the touchy-feely type before, but I was certain his hesitance stemmed from a different place now.
“Sure. I’m fine, Giovanni. You don’t have to treat me like I’m breakable.”
Giovanni closed the distance between us and took my hands, something I hadn’t expected, but I didn’t pull away. Being close to someone other than family felt good after everything, but Giovanni wasn’t the man I wanted to be consoled by. Yet, that man had taken off like a goddamn coward. I shoved any thought of Maddox aside.
Giovanni met my gaze. His was infatuated and devoted as it had been before. He wouldn’t run off. No, he was here, asking me for a second chance.
“I want us to try again. This time everything can be different, Marci.”
“Different how?” I asked.
He lowered his voice as if he feared someone might be eavesdropping. That almost made me roll my eyes again. “I wouldn’t hold back anymore. I’d give you everything you need. I’d kiss you everywhere, touch you everywhere. I’d sleep with you.”
“You would?”
“Yes,” he said. “Nothing is holding us back anymore. We could be like a normal couple even without being married. People won’t expect bloody sheets anyway.”
It took me a moment to process his words and then to get over them. He sounded relieved that I’d slept with Maddox, because the rumors about me getting nasty with a biker meant he didn’t have to preserve my virginity anymore. It meant he didn’t have to fear my father anymore, because in comparison to Maddox, me sleeping with Giovanni was something Dad would probably applaud.
I pulled my hands out of his, once again angry. “You are wrong. Something is holding us back, my feelings for you. I don’t want to be with you anymore, not in the physical sense and not emotionally either. I’ve moved on, Giovanni, and so should you.”
“Marci, you don’t have to be ashamed of what happened. The rumors will die down eventually. Once we’re married, people will only see you as the woman at my side.”
It took impossible self-control not to scream at him from the top of my lungs. I’d been bottling up too many emotions anyway, but I didn’t want to alert Mom, or worse, Dad. They were already babysitting me 24/7, and a mental breakdown definitely wouldn’t help my case.
“Please leave now,” I pressed out. “I’m not interested in being the woman at someone’s side right now. I want to focus on work. Learning the ins and outs of the Famiglia will take time and dedication. I think you should look for another woman.”
I had to admit I was proud of myself for my moderately calm voice.
The hint of a sympathetic smile flitted across Giovanni’s face. “My father mentioned your plan to join the Famiglia.” He shook his head in a way that couldn’t be described as anything but condescending. “Listen, Marci, your dad’s humoring you because you were hurt, but people are starting to talk. It’s not fitting for a woman to want a place in our ranks.”
Women weren’t supposed to want anything. Not sex, not love, and definitely not a place in the world they were born into. “I only want what I deserve as a Vitiello. Amo and Valerio won’t have to justify their desire to be part of the Famiglia.”
“They are men,” Giovanni said, as if it was news to me. Had he always been this insufferable, or had I been more compliant in the past? I honestly couldn’t say.
“And I’m a woman who’s strong enough to demand the same.”
Giovanni sighed. “But you aren’t facing the same trials as every man who becomes part of the Famiglia. We have to swear an oath, get a tattoo. We have to bleed and suffer pain for the cause.”
I lost it. “I was tattooed, I bled and I suffered pain for a feud between the Famiglia and Tartarus, Giovanni.” I shoved my hair aside, revealing my missing earlobe. Then I opened the zipper of my sweater and tugged down the shirt beneath so my shoulder was bare, revealing the top of the tattoo. Giovanni’s eyes widened when he saw it. “What kind of pain have you suffered that’s worse? Hmm?”