Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 56606 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56606 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
I’ve never denied Dillon Jacoby is an attractive man. With every passing day, though, I get to experience the man behind the cut. The man who will do anything for his son, including sleeping in a damn truck so he can be present.
Why he doesn’t sleep in another room or on a couch? I don’t know. I don’t ask questions. I listen as Anna shares from time to time and I observe.
Dillon is a hard man at work. I wouldn’t want to cross him, that’s for sure. But when he’s with Anna, I can see him struggle to maintain patience for her, but he does it. I’m sure watching someone you love slip away isn’t easy. Anna doesn’t deny being different since having Hollis.
His hands come down on my back and shoulders. He begins to massage the sunscreen into my skin. I relax into his touch.
The roughness of his working hands against the soft flesh of my shoulders is heaven. I fight back a moan. He is very thorough, and I even let him lather the lotion across my chest. I didn’t wear a two piece today and I’m thankful for it. Attraction or not, we are in two different places in life, both of them unavailable.
EIGHT
DILLON
I never imagined myself even thinking about life without Anna, not in the beginning. Until we left Freedom Falls, Iowa I had this picture in my mind of how it would be. Reality is nothing like I imagined.
Sure, I’ve been around beautiful women. I can appreciate visual appeal, but nothing I can ever call real attraction. Whether Anna realizes it or not, until Hollis, there wasn’t a single person I loved and found myself more loyal to than her. Now, I find myself holding onto faded memories trying to keep my vows as I navigate our separation and divorce. Regardless of the fact that it is indeed over with Anna and I, cheating isn’t something I want to do. With every passing day, it becomes harder. Not because there is someone else, but because I genuinely struggle to be around my wife. That isn’t healthy for either of us. Clearly, she doesn’t want to be around me or isn’t happy around me because all she does is scream and bitch with the occasional time she throws shit at me. I don’t want to continue this life of misery with her. I want her to find what makes her smile again, laugh again. I want her to feel something other than the resentment that eats her up. For me, I want peace. It’s very simple. I want easy days with my son. No yelling, no bitching. I want to spend time with someone who embraces me and my son. Anna treats Hollis like a burden and I think that is the biggest turn off of all for me.
Hollis is everything good I’ve ever done, held, or dared to love. He is my greatest gift in life. To watch her cast him away, it cuts deep every single time. I have given her everything she ever asked, even if we really couldn’t afford it at the time (like the house). We have the security of my job and money in the bank. She lives comfortably without having to work. I absolutely want Hollis in preschool, so he is prepared for elementary school. Only that isn’t enough time for her away from him, she tries to say. That is her excuse for leaving him with Maritza so often is she needs ‘me time’. I don’t know what the fuck that is because I want every free moment, I have to be with him. There is no me without Hollis anymore and I like it that way.
Maritza, that’s a whole other thing. She loves every second she has with my son. His first day of preschool, she cried, not his mother. She cherishes picking him up from school to hear about his day. She loves watching every new trick or task he learns. I have never seen someone truly adore a child that isn’t their own. Maritza and Hollis, though, they have a bond like no other.
It isn’t about comparison. Anna and Maritza are two completely different women from two absolutely opposite worlds. I’m still a man and I can’t deny the attraction I feel. Maritza is beautiful. This woman in front of me is the total package. Maritza Castillo is gorgeous inside and out. Her heart and compassion for others is inspiring. It’s not only because of the way she is with my son, even though that is what I noticed first. I’ve watched her worry over complete strangers. People come in and out of the office area. She is always the first to greet them, offer water, or a snack. Even when none of us are around, her actions show how she is. My mind goes back to this one time when I thought Ruby would lose his mind over her kindness.