Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 56606 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56606 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
I think about her invitation. Anna is drunk and on a tirade. She might come home and wake Hollis to be spiteful or just from being loud. This isn’t the first time she’s wanted a divorce. If I go home and she’s already there, well, the state she’s in we will fight. It will get loud, possibly physical on her side, and it will wake Hollis, there is no doubt about that. If I stay here, on the couch, my son sleeps, I sleep, and I can face tomorrow when we both are a little more rested.
“Okay,” I concede, “sorry to barge in on your night and your space.”
Maritza smiles at me the sweet smile that is all her. “Stop apologizing. I’ll grab a blanket and pillow. You can crash on the couch.”
I nod as she goes about getting the linens. Meeting her at her bedroom door, I glance at my son who is sleeping soundly in Maritza’s bed. His face relaxed and breathing even, my baby boy doesn’t have a care in the world.
“Goodnight, Dillon,” Maritza tells me handing me the blankets and a pillow from her closet.
“Night, Maritza,” I whisper before heading back to her living room.
Taking off my boots, cut, and shirt, I strip down to my boxers and settle in on the couch.
This is not the homecoming I was expecting from this transport.
Thank fuck for the Hellions, at least I have people around me who care and put my son first.
This is family and I won’t take that away from Hollis no matter what Anna says or threatens me with.
FIVE
MARITZA
ONE YEAR LATER
“You rest, I’ve got the office today. Mariella is here.” I try to reassure her.
My mother simply nods as she fights to keep her eyes open. I know it kills her to face this new reality. Treatment days are exhausting. The day after is even worse. Yesterday, she spent her day getting pumped full of the medication currently keeping the cancer at bay. It literally zaps every ounce of energy from her body. The more the medication fills her veins and works through her system, the more energy seems to vanish. The littlest of tasks is monumental, and I hate watching her struggle. I wish I could take her pain away. If I could trade places with her I would. Life doesn’t work that way, however. For now, I’ll do what I can which is go to work in her place.
Mariella has always had a room at my condo. Last year, she was home on weekends from school and would crash between my place and our parents. As mom’s health has become more challenging, she switched to online college, as did I. At first, she lived at home. Knowing the changes we have made since her diagnosis; it was making mom feel guilty having her live there. Our mom struggles the most with the guilt that she is somehow holding any of us back. She isn’t. Family comes before everything. To ease the burden our mother felt about Mariella moving back home from school we decided this was a great compromise. Now, we live together in my condo, and balance working, school, alongside helping our father care for our mother. The days are long, but worth it to do anything we can for our mother.
Our little brother, RJ, Ruben Jr is stationed up north with the Navy. I know he would be here and help if he could. Serving our country has been his lifelong dream and my mother was adamant her diagnosis not stop any of us from following our dreams. RJ has wanted nothing more than to be in the Navy since he was a little boy. There was a time we didn’t think he would enlist. With mom’s diagnosis, he wants to be here with us too. It took some convincing on all of our parts, but he did follow his plans. We are all proud of him, but our mother exceptionally so.
To some, it’s a sacrifice, the changes Mariella and I have made. To us, there isn’t a single moment of any of this we won’t be by her side for. She isn’t giving up and neither are we.
It’s hard as a caregiver to watch a loved one change as a disease takes over. My mother looks small in her bed. The therapy has caused her hair loss, weight loss, and overall fatigue. I can only imagine what runs through her head as she fights to keep her life. She remains positive even as she lost her hair, then her curves, and some days the entire day to being asleep. I know it frustrates her, especially when she can’t seem to keep herself awake.
The hardest part for me and my sister was watching her struggle. Losing her hair will forever stand out to both of us. I remember as a kid watching her braid her long, dark hair before bed every night. She would then braid mine and my sister’s. Here she is with her naked head against the satin pillowcase, and I can’t help but miss seeing her braid. Her eyes hidden by her closed eyelids as her breathing evens out she has at least found a moment of peace in her slumber. Knowing she is asleep and not wishing to disturb her, I blow her a quiet kiss and head out.