Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 135652 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135652 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
It should’ve been the first thing we did when I fell pregnant. At least then I wouldn’t be here, I’d have been able to afford the rent and everything the baby needs for a while until I finished university and got a job.
Gah. It’s no use thinking about any of this. Why am I torturing myself with ridiculous what ifs?
“Morning,” a cheery sounding female voice calls as the main entrance door opens and then closes. “Anybody home?” She enters the kitchen, sees me and smiles. I’d smile back but I haven’t gotten to that point of my grief yet where I can feel emotion enough to change my facial expression from blank or tortured. “Well look at you.”
“Hi,” I say politely.
She’s a mid-forties woman with a soft smile, her eyes are deep blue and you know just by looking into them that she’s lived. It’s odd how you can just tell that with some people. I wonder if you can tell that by looking at me.
“You must be Mr Weston’s guest, Guinevere right? It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Jeanine” she opens her arms and gives me a firm hug. Her hand rubs my back a couple of times before she holds me at arm’s length, her smile still certain. “You are absolutely gorgeous, and look at this bump. May I?”
“Sure,” I say, my fingers tucking my hair behind my ears.
She instantly places her hands over the small swell, “My, my, my. You’re going to have an eight pounder, easy.”
“Great,” I murmur solemnly and try to picture my future. All I see is a whale with my face.
“A healthy one too,” her smile gets brighter. “You sit. I’ll make us some tea. How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” I respond but her eyes tell me she knows the truth.
Fortunately she doesn’t comment, she only sets about her business, a bounce in each step. “It’s wonderful to have you here. I’m sure Nathan thinks so too.”
“Ha,” I let out unintentionally.
If this woman smiles any wider she’s going to lose the top of her head. “He gets awfully lonely up here even though he denies it. Rarely gets to leave what with work.” Oh, so he’s a work from home kind of guy. That explains the distance from the city thing. “It’ll be nice having you here and of course the baby.” I watch as her smile falls, pity and concern replacing it. “I’m very sorry for your loss. I was told not to mention it but it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t offer my sincerest condolences.”
“That’s okay, thank you. No point avoiding the obvious,” I say this on a sigh.
It’s true though, there’s no point tiptoeing around something so huge or the people dealing with it will never fully learn how to face it. As much as I don’t want to face it and it hurts to be reminded that he’s gone, he is in fact gone and I have to deal with that. For my sake and the baby’s.
“Well, have you eaten?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry about the food, Nathan insisted I buy only organic for his niece or nephew. But…” she smiles wickedly and places a finger to her lips before beckoning me to the pantry. “If you look back here, there’s a large plastic container. I filled it with goodies.” Goodies? People still say this? And I highly doubt he referred to my unborn as his niece or nephew. Or maybe he did, I don’t know him well enough to assume.
I want to hug her again, “Thank you. I’ve been desperate for chocolate.”
“I didn’t get you anything with peanuts but what I got is still bloody brilliant,” she wanders away leaving me to raid the container. I find a Twix and almost cry. “How do you like your room?”
I shrug, “It’s very…”
“Old fashioned?”
“You could say that. It’s beautiful though.” It’s just a room with a bed where I can bury my head. I don’t care about the décor.
She grins again, “Redecorate. We’ll do the nursery too. How I do love decorating a nursery. Although it’s been a long time since I had this joy. My youngest just left home last month.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
She lets out a short cackle, “Oh I’m not. It’s about bloody time he figured out his place in the world like his older siblings.” I want to laugh, the feeling is there but I just can’t. She doesn’t take offence, her eyes yet again are knowing. She does however, touch my shoulder gently and add on a quiet whisper, “It’ll get easier my darling. You will smile again.”
With a nod I sit back down and watch her potter around the kitchen. She natters away about her kids and life and how she came to work for Nathan three years ago. The story isn’t interesting, he put an ad in the local newspaper and she was interviewed, so were two other younger and slimmer women but she kicked their arses. Again I wanted to smile but couldn’t. She laughed and smiled enough for both of us so that’s okay.