Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Tonight's our night, I decide. So I fake a yawn and get to my feet when the first people start to drift away. A'tam's mid-conversation with Thrand, and he gives me a look of concern when I touch his arm. "Are you tired, Br'chit?"
"A little." I give him a sleepy smile and my heart warms even more when he leans in and kisses the tip of my nose. "I'm going to head back to the hut. You stay here and finish your conversation."
"I will go back with you—"
I shake my head, nudging him back toward Thrand before he can turn away. "I'm going to wash up and I'd like a few minutes alone, if that's all right. You hang out a bit more." I beam at him to let him know it's all right.
He gives me an uncertain look, as if it violates all of his principles to let me leave the gathering alone. But when I remain firm, he nods. "I will be there soon."
"Not too soon," I tease, and then wave at Thrand. "Night."
I slip out of the longhouse and into the cold night. It was stuffy inside, thanks to the fire and the press of bodies, but out in the open, it's biting and frigid. I rub my arms as I hurry over to the hut, gasping with the chill. When I get inside, I stoke the coals, getting the fire roaring again, and then I dig through my things.
I pull out the outfit Flor made for me and run my fingers over it. It was so thoughtful of her to make something and give it to me. Clothing—even tiny, flirty clothing—requires hours of work. I need to thank her again, because I'm going to wear this tonight. I strip down and wash my body with a bit of frigid water, then put on the leather bra. It's got the perfect little spaghetti straps, and two long bits of leather between the cups to tie in a bow and secure everything. I'm surprised that it fits rather well, all things considered. My tits are too big for the cups—I spill over in a rather obscene way—but it looks pretty sexy, so I'm happy with it. Next, I put on the soft, fuzzy skirt, and bite back a cackle of laughter when the thing barely covers my ass cheeks. One wrong move and my butt is going to hang out the backside.
It's perfect.
I twirl in the outfit, feeling sexy and pretty. A'tam will like this, I decide. He likes me naked, of course, but I don't think he's ever seen lingerie before, so he's sure to like it. What man wouldn't like his woman's ass hanging out of a teeny, fluffy skirt or her tits busting out of a leather bra? A'tam is as red-blooded as they come, so I can't wait to show him.
Tonight's going to be fun, I decide. Fun and special. I'm not going to worry too much about the size of A'tam's dick or my girl parts, I tell myself. We can make it fit. We can make resonance work.
I refuse to accept any other possibilities.
Even if things aren't…fun…I still have to go through with resonance. My khui won't stop humming and making me crazy without fulfilling resonance. That means pregnancy. We've put it off for a week now, and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to stand it. Just being in the same room as A'tam is wildly distracting. Sex with him, no matter how many orgasms, feels like never enough, because the khui isn't satisfied. I constantly feel as if I'm on edge, my skin sensitized and flushed. My sleep is restless. I stumble when I walk.
Basically, I'm a mess. This is how the khui works. It's not going to let me rest until it's prime directive is fulfilled. Until then, I'll grow continually more distracted, more twitchy, more hormonal, until I can't stand it any longer. Liz mentioned that one couple in the other tribe—Josie and Haeden—went a month without fulfilling their resonance. I cannot even imagine. If I feel this frayed and restless after a week, I can only imagine how godawful they must have felt after a month.
It's not that I don't want A'tam, either. I do.
Just…not all of him.
But I know that's not an option. So I take a deep, calming breath, and curl up under the furs, waiting for A'tam. As I do, I think about my mate. I think about how much I adore him, and how much pleasure he's given me in this last week. How happy he makes me. Whatever happens tonight, I want it to go well for him, because I love him.
He's not the same A'tam he was from a few months ago. He'll make sure I have a good time.