Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 33998 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 170(@200wpm)___ 136(@250wpm)___ 113(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33998 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 170(@200wpm)___ 136(@250wpm)___ 113(@300wpm)
She didn’t make it. She didn’t make it out.
“No!” I roared, my chest tightening to the point I could hardly breathe. “Goddammit, no! She’s in there, Carl! She’s fucking in there!”
Carl grabbed my biceps and shook me when I continued yelling at him. Everything hurt. It felt like every organ in my body was being squeezed. The smell of smoke snagged my lungs, making my knees weak. They shook under the weight of my body. “There are no survivors, Whiler,” he told me calmly. I sobbed, shaking my head. I could feel the heat of the fire, and it was sucking the life out of my body, emptying my body of my soul just as it had my little sister. I sank to the ground, sobs wracking my chest. “I’ve got two men in there now getting them out.”
I screamed, folding in on myself on the ground. I could taste the soot—fucking death—in my mouth. On my tongue. Ink drew me into his arms as I fell apart, and for once, I didn’t push my brother away. I cried and screamed into his shoulder, agony slicing me apart with sharp, jagged blades.
My little angel—my sweet little sister—was gone.
She was never meant to get her wings this early.
I was a fucking wreck. Alejandro had to come pick me up from my parents’ house since I refused to leave, and I fought him and his men as they tried to wrestle me into the back of his SUV. I didn’t fucking want to leave. I deserved to sit here and suffer as I watched them pull Helena out of that cursed fucking house.
“Get in the fucking car!” Alejandro yelled at me, finally having enough. He roughly shook me, glaring down at me with those dark, almost soulless eyes.
“Fuck you!” I barked at him, trying to shove him off, but his grip was too tight, and he had my cut bunched in his fists.
He shoved me into the backseat and closed the door. I growled in frustration and shoved my fingers through my hair, hating the sooty streaks that were left behind on my hands. My eyes were burning from crying so much, and I was exhausted. Fucking tired down to my bones.
And my heart felt goddamn empty. My entire being felt empty. Lost. Soulless.
Alejandro slipped into the front seat and quietly drove off. I leaned my head back against the headrest, silent tears streaking down my cheeks. I was in fucking agony.
She was gone. Just like that. And I’d listened to her dying. Even now, her screams were still echoing in my ears as if she was still screaming for me to save her.
I’m so sorry, little angel, I silently whispered. I’m so fucking sorry.
I hadn’t gotten to her in time, and that shit would haunt me for the rest of my life.
I thought the open road would relieve some of the pain, but it only seemed to make it worse. I had nothing to do. Nothing to occupy my mind with. And every time I set up a tent somewhere to sleep, nightmares plagued my mind, only letting me get maybe a couple of hours of sleep each night, if that.
Days had passed, but I could still taste the soot on my tongue no matter how hard I brushed my teeth or how much mouthwash I rinsed my mouth out with. I could still feel the hot ash landing on my skin no matter how many times I dipped into a cold ass stream or river. And no matter how loud I played my music, I could still hear her fucking screaming for me. And every time I closed my eyes, I could smell the burning flesh, the charred wood.
I needed a purpose again. But I couldn’t stand to be in this town all the time. Not yet. The Sons of Hell had given me a home. Given me a purpose. Allowed me to be near my family and build a relationship with my little sister.
But now, I needed to be away. Yet leaving the club was not an option.
I scrubbed my hands down my face as I stared at my face in the mirror. It was the first time I’d been at the clubhouse in days. The first time I’d really gotten a look at myself.
The old Whiler was gone.
Dark circles bruised the skin beneath my eyes, and my beard was unkempt, unlike the neat cut I usually kept it in. I couldn’t even bring myself to care.
I looked tired. Dead on the inside. That spark of life in my eyes was gone.
“Whiler?” Joey called, knocking on my door. He pushed it open a moment later, not waiting for me to say anything. He crossed his arms over his chest, staring at me through my bathroom doorway. “Ink said he saw you climb the stairs about two this morning.”