Total pages in book: 56
Estimated words: 52639 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 211(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52639 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 211(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
“What’s the dream, Emmalee? You’ve gone through so much in the last year, what do you see in your future?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I haven’t given it much thought.”
Diem gets a somber look, “please Emmalee, I’ve lost everything solid in my life. I gained a lot with Colt, yes, but I don’t want to be without my best friend, not like that ever again. This has been miserable not seeing you.”
“I’m not leaving, Diem. I have nowhere to go. I don’t know what comes next. I wanted so many things before and now it all seems out of reach or ridiculous. I have nothing. My mom had more debt than my dad, which is saying something. There is nothing to support myself to do anything other than get a job and chase a dollar.”
“We don’t have to talk about that,” Diem tries to shut it down thinking she’s upsetting me. “I want to know, no need to know, you won’t bail on me again. I want you close. We can get you through school. Whatever your dreams are, I’ll help you achieve them. Side-by-side that’s how we do things from now on.”
“It’s fine. My mom was as awful as my dad. It’s not like we were super close. Truth is I didn’t know them. The thing is my life was one way and none of it was real. I don’t know who I am or where I belong.”
Diem nods and I know she understands more than anyone after learning her parents weren’t even actually her parents. It’s an unusual reality to be an orphan. Time is the only thing that will help us both heal and come to terms with how mixed up our childhoods were.
“Our whole lives were lies. How am I supposed to know what to do next? How do I even do any of it without a college fund? I can’t finish school. I have three hundred dollars to my name.” I let out a huff.
It surprises me that Wesson and Colton don’t say anything. They are present but giving Diem and I a chance to talk through some of the things. It’s nice to get it off my chest, but still, it doesn’t change my situation.
I’m broke.
I’m homeless.
I have no future.
I have no job.
I have no clue what to even do.
“Emmalee, you’re the smartest person I know. We’ll figure this out. One day at a time. Look at all you did to survive this last year. You got in a car and went wherever the road took you. Taking things as they came. You found a job, a place to stay, and you were settling in. Here you already have the lay of the land so to speak.” Diem encourages. “I’m sure Wesson doesn’t mind if you stay with him. And finding a job won’t be too difficult. There are student loans to help, but you are so smart, I bet you can get scholarships to finish school.”
I want to shrink into the couch. I don’t know where things stand with Wes. Sure, he’s easy to be around. Yes, I’ve stayed here the last few nights since getting back. I don’t think a few nights is an automatic assumption I can live here until I’m on my feet again. I don’t want to fall into a false sense of security.
Diem moves on to lighter subjects and we pass the time as if I didn’t spend months at a time lying to her. That is real friendship.
It’s not long before I notice Colt give Wes a nod. I don’t have time to process it when Colt, takes Diem by the hand. “Come on, let’s give them some time.” Colt gives her a wink and I swear she melts as she stands and moves with him to the door. Colt hits the dimmer on the lights and locks the door as they exit.
I love the way he always looks out for Wes. It’s not that Wes can’t do those things for himself, but I love that he is surrounded by people who think through the little things they can do for him. I never have experienced that kind of family, love, or acceptance. No one has ever put thought into what might help me or hurt me.
I hear Diem giggle from outside and I sigh. This is something new. The brothers living separate. While I was away, Wes built his own house where before we all lived together in separate wings of sorts. Originally, I was excited to come home, and it be the four of us. Now, though, I like the privacy with Wes and the time alone.
Wesson shifts to lay back on the couch guiding me with him, my back to his front.
“Tell me your dreams,” he says as he begins to massage my shoulders, “from before. Take out all that has happened. When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?”