Total pages in book: 218
Estimated words: 205594 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1028(@200wpm)___ 822(@250wpm)___ 685(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 205594 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1028(@200wpm)___ 822(@250wpm)___ 685(@300wpm)
He pauses.
“Easy?” I ask, trying to keep the bitterness from my voice. This isn’t true, I tell myself over and over again. It’s not true. It’s all a lie to pull me away from Nemeth. To turn me against him.
“Yes,” Tolian says. “That you were a less, ah, virtuous sort. That you enjoyed flirting games. My spies tell me that the brothers instructed Nemeth to be standoffish for a time, because that would intrigue you and then you’d fall into his arms—”
“Stop. Please, stop.” I close my eyes. I’m dying inside. I’m dying, because all of the little things Tolian says that were part of their plans are matching up with my memories, and I’m withering, my heart turning to ash in my chest.
Nemeth loves me. He does.
“They wanted you on their side in case of war,” Tolian continues, heedless of my plea. “A Vestalin princess sympathetic to Darkfell’s cause would be a blow to the Liosian king. It would sow doubt amongst the commoners. It would bring them to our side. You have always been a tool that the First House intended upon using, Princess Candromeda. I am sorry to be the bearer of such messages, but they are the truth.”
Messages.
Nemeth wouldn’t let me see the messages from Riza. He wouldn’t tell me why, either.
He knew.
He’s been hiding me ever since we arrived here. It’s like a knife in my heart.
“He’s always been their creature, Candra. I’m sorry.” Riza’s gaze is full of sympathy. Her hand brushes against her mate’s. “I didn’t realize you trusted him so. I thought you were with him simply because you had no other options. That you were using him and not the other way around.”
I flinch at her words, because I feel incredibly stupid. I’ve always prided myself on being flirty and seductive, winsome and appealing despite my barrenness that makes me so ineligible for marriage. That it didn’t matter because I could make men want me regardless…and yet I’ve been completely taken in by a scholarly Fellian who pretended to be reluctant.
Pretended to be falling for me.
This is why he didn’t want me to see Riza. He didn’t want me to know everyone was laughing behind my back. “I need to talk to Nemeth.”
“Wait,” Riza blurts, jumping to her feet. “Please, Candra. Before you return to his side, I must beg a favor of you. Don’t tell him of our plans. Don’t tell him that you’ve spoken to me, or to Tolian.”
“If First House knows that Second House is plotting against them, we will be executed for treason,” Tolian says in a grave voice. “And if I am killed, there will be no one to protect Riza.”
My friend trembles, her eyes pleading.
As if I could sell her out? As if I have not dreamed of seeing her again, hugging her? Do they truly think me so capricious? But I suppose I have been in the past. That spoiled, gossipy Candra of old seems so very far away. Now I am simply tired. Tired and defeated.
My mate is using me. He doesn’t love me.
My sister is a shell of herself, her children gone.
My kingdom is in ruins.
All that I have left is Riza. “I would never put you in danger,” I vow to her. “You have my word.”
She gets to her feet, searching my face as if seeking her answers there. As if she doesn’t believe me. “Will you join us, then? Join Second House to take down First House? With a Vestalin on our side, we can convince the people that Tolian and his house are truly with us. If we let First House stand, Ivornath’s madness will destroy us all.”
“I can’t let Nemeth be hurt,” I confess. “Even if this is all a lie, I still care for him. I still need to talk to him. There’s more at stake than just my life.”
And I run my hand over my rounded belly to show her just what I mean.
Riza nods in understanding. “Ajaxi and Ivornath must be destroyed. Nemeth can be exiled.”
“But—” Tolian begins to protest.
He’s silenced by a shake of Riza’s head. “If nothing else, he can be sent back to the tower.”
My heart aches at the thought of Nemeth, alone and miserable in the tower once more, without room to spread his wings and fly. How can I have so much sympathy for someone who has hurt me and used me at every turn?
I still love him, and I hate that about myself. I want to be as cold and hard as Erynne…but I can’t.
I wonder, absently, what the goddess will do if there are no Fellians of First House to fulfill their half of the Royal Offering. If there are only Vestalins left. I suppose if there are no Fellians left in First House, no one can be sent to the tower…