Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 65189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
I took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to gather my scattered thoughts. The lingering scent of sex hung heavy in the air, a visceral reminder of what had just transpired between us. My body still thrummed with residual pleasure, but a creeping sense of shame was rapidly overtaking the afterglow.
“Lucas,” I began hesitantly, my voice barely above a whisper. “I… I think we need to talk.”
He propped himself up on one elbow, his eyes studying me intently. “What is it, ma chère?” he asked, a hint of concern in his tone.
I sat up slowly, wincing again at the discomfort in my bottom. The movement caused the delicate lace of my bra to shift against my sensitive nipples, sending an unwelcome jolt of arousal through me. I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling terribly exposed despite—no, because of—the lingerie.
“This… whatever this is between us,” I said, gesturing vaguely. “It can’t continue.”
Lucas’ brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
I took another deep breath, steeling myself. “What we just did… it was intense. And yes, physically pleasurable. But it’s wrong, Lucas. It goes against everything I believe in.”
“Alice,” he began, reaching out to touch my arm. I flinched away, and he withdrew his hand, hurt flashing in his eyes.
“No, please,” I said, holding up a hand to stop Lucas from interrupting. “I need to say this.”
I took a deep breath, trying to organize my chaotic thoughts. The silky sheets beneath me felt too soft, too luxurious—another reminder of how Lucas had tried to buy my submission. I shifted uncomfortably, acutely aware of the state of my backside and the wetness between my thighs.
I gestured at the lingerie. “This isn’t me. I’m not some… some submissive doll for you to dress up and play with.”
Lucas opened his mouth to speak, but I pressed on, afraid that if I stopped, I’d lose my nerve. “I know my body responded. I can’t deny that. But it’s just a physical reaction. It doesn’t mean anything deeper.”
Even as I said the words, I felt a pang in my chest. Was I trying to convince Lucas, or myself? I pushed the thought aside, focusing on the physical sensations to ground myself. The ache in my stretched muscles, the slight burn in my recently claimed bottom—these were real, tangible things I could point to. Evidence that this was purely physical, that it had nothing to do with real emotion, let alone the intellectual bond I had always told myself I would seek out in a lover.
I took another deep, shuddering breath, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “Lucas, I… I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to see you again.” The words felt like shards of glass in my throat, but I forced them out. “You can take back all the money. I’ll find another way to pay for my studies.”
Lucas’ face fell, a deep sadness clouding his eyes. For a moment, he looked utterly lost, vulnerable in a way I’d never seen before. It made my heart clench painfully, but I steeled myself against the urge to take back my words, to throw myself into his arms and beg forgiveness.
“Alice,” he said softly, his voice rough with emotion. “Are you certain this is what you want?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Lucas was silent for a long moment, his gaze searching my face as if memorizing every detail. Finally, he sighed, a sound of deep resignation.
“Very well,” he murmured. “If that’s truly your wish, I won’t try to change your mind.” He paused, then added, “But please, keep next month’s subsidy. Consider it… a parting gift, if you will.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but Lucas held up a hand to stop me. “I insist,” he said firmly. “Use it to get settled, to find your footing without… without this arrangement weighing on you.”
Lucas’ eyes softened, a mix of sadness and resignation settling over his features. He reached out as if to touch my cheek, but stopped himself, his hand hovering in the air between us for a moment before falling back to his side.
“I hope you have a good life, Alice,” he murmured hoarsely. “And I truly hope you find someone worthy of you.”
The words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken sentiment. I could see the struggle playing out behind Lucas’ ice-blue eyes—the desire to argue, to persuade me to stay, warring with his respect for my decision. His jaw clenched and unclenched, the muscles working beneath his skin as he visibly fought to maintain his composure.
Lucas stood slowly, the mattress shifting beneath his weight. The late afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows painted golden highlights on his muscular form, softening the hard planes of his body. For a moment, he looked almost vulnerable, stripped of his usual commanding presence.
He moved with deliberate grace as he gathered his clothes, each movement precise and controlled. I watched silently as he dressed, unable to tear my eyes away from the man who had awakened such conflicting emotions within me. The rustle of fabric seemed unnaturally loud in the heavy silence of the room.