Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
She’s not wrong. What a self-absorbed bastard I’ve been to her.
All this time…
She was always here for me.
I didn’t mean to be so self-absorbed. I love this woman.
God, I love her. I’ve always loved her, but what I’m feeling now…
It’s more frightening than what happened between Blossom and me tonight.
I’m feeling…
More than sexual desire. More than animal urge and want.
More than…
More than something I can even describe because I’ve never felt it before.
And I can’t be feeling it. I absolutely can’t, because Mandy will never accept the darker side of me.
And even if she could…she deserves more than what I’m capable of giving. She deserves forever.
“You’re obviously not in the mood to talk, Jack. If you won’t let me help you, I can at least let you rest.” She nods to the bed she just made for me. “Finish your drink. I’m going to bed.”
She heads to her bedroom. A few minutes later, I hear the whoosh of the shower.
Mandy. Naked. Warm water dripping over her body, meandering over every curve, every valley.
My cock responds.
The way it should have responded with Blossom earlier.
I take another sip of bourbon. Then I stand, shed my jacket and jeans until I’m wearing only my boxer briefs.
For a moment, I consider joining Mandy in the shower.
But only for a moment.
I can’t give in. I can’t risk Mandy. My Mandy. If we continue down this path, I’ll lose her. Maybe not tonight. Or tomorrow. But eventually. And that’s not fair to either of us.
I slip between the sheets of her sofa bed and close my eyes.
Chapter Twenty-One
Amanda
My eyes pop open.
It’s still dark outside. Why did I wake up? Roger, lying at the foot of my bed, perks up his ears.
I’m warm. I thought Roger would be snuggled up to me, but—
“Oh!”
The gasp comes from my throat before I can stop it. My eyes have adjusted, and a man stands by my bed.
For a moment, I freeze. This is the end of my life. He’s here to—
Until I recognize Jack. Of course. Jack is here. If it were a stranger, Roger would be barking up a storm.
“God, Jack, you scared the daylights out of me. Why are you here?”
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“So you decided to watch me sleep?”
“I didn’t think you’d mind?” He chuckles half-heartedly.
“Not mind you hovering over me while I sleep? Uh…yeah, I mind. Go back to bed.”
He clears his throat. “Can we talk?”
“Look. I gave you the chance to talk last night. You clammed up. I can’t be your…”
He yawns. “My what?”
“Your…consolation prize, okay?”
“Mandy Cake…”
I shake my head. “Damn it!”
“Sorry,” he says, a yawn splitting his face once more.
“Get out.”
Did those words just spew from my mouth? Never in my life have I imagined giving Jackson that command. But you know what? I mean it.
He stills. “Out of your room?”
“Out of my apartment, Jack. Go.”
“It’s the middle of the night, Mandy.”
“So? You’ve got a car. You’ve got a place—which, by the way, is about three times the size of this one. Go home, Jackson.”
“Mandy…” He closes his eyes, rubs his forehead.
“I mean it.”
Still, he doesn’t move.
And I begin to relent. My God, I have the world’s biggest soft spot for this guy.
“Fine. You don’t have to leave. But you do need to get out of my room. I made a perfectly good bed for you in the other room.”
“Fine. You’re right. See you in the morning.” He shuffles out.
And I feel…
I should feel empowered. I stood up for myself. Made it clear that he couldn’t use me when he’s upset. That if he’s not going to tell me what’s wrong, he can get the hell out.
But all I feel is…
Loss.
Profound fucking loss.
…
Roger wakes me up the next morning—Saturday—to let me know it’s time for him to go out.
I sit up and stretch my arms above my head. Is Jack still here? Why didn’t he take Roger out?
I want to talk to him about what’s bothering him, yet for the first time, I also don’t. I’m angry. So angry that what happened between us meant nothing to him.
“Okay, boy,” I say to Roger. “Come on, sweetie.”
I rise, shove my feet into my slippers, and head into the main room. My bedroom is kind of the size of a large closet.
Make that an average-size closet. The bed takes up most of the room.
“Morning, Jack,” I call as I grab Roger’s leash from the side table.
No response.
Of course. He’s still freaking asleep. He’s not bothered at all by the fact that I kicked him out of my room in the middle of the night.
Then I glance toward the sofa.
He’s gone.
My heart dives into my stomach as sadness sweeps through me.
Then I suck it up.
“Who needs him anyway?” I say to Roger as I attach his leash to his collar. “Let’s go.”
I shove a plastic bag into the pocket of my coat, and then I walk downstairs with Roger. After he does his business and I clean up after him, we return to the apartment.