Total pages in book: 171
Estimated words: 162003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 810(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 162003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 810(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
That was how my mother raised me after all. To woo and charm and play by the rules.
Then life happened. And brick by brick, my sensibly constructed mortar kingdom disintegrated before my eyes. My reality check was that life didn’t play fair. Life took. And people took. And every day that I woke up empty fucking took… something. I was forged in the fire of blood and misery. The sadist inside of me created someone in his image. Or perhaps he only brought to life the monster always lurking there. I’d never really know for certain.
But Brighton loved the monster. She’d admitted as much. So what good would it do to pretend I was anything else? Why show up with wine and chocolate when you know your girl wants leather and filthy words?
And yet there I sat. Thirty years old in my sad office with my sad paperwork. Alone.
I wanted her to text me. To say something. I’d been waiting all day. It was a foolish notion. She didn’t even know it was my birthday. I knew when hers was. I’d buy her the world, but somehow I doubted it’d make a lick of difference.
For the last six years, I’d been alone on this day. It was never an issue. Indeed, I preferred it that way. But tonight, I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to be with her.
And I was sick of waiting.
Chapter Sixteen
Brighton
Something warm skimmed over my neck, and I shivered as I nuzzled closer. I knew that scent anywhere. Whiskey and Ryland.
I smiled, because I was dreaming, and in my dreams, I could still have him.
“Baby girl,” he murmured. “Just let me hold you.”
I felt his warmth against my back, and I sighed against him. His heartbeat was as strong as I remembered, soothing me in a way that only he could. It felt so real. His hands were on my body. Stroking my hip, my ribs, my arms. I was falling deeper, and I knew I was going to lose him at any moment.
“Ryland,” I whispered.
“Yes, baby,” he replied. “I’m right here.”
His hands drifted over my belly, and I felt him pause. This was my dream so it could be anything I wanted. I imagined him telling me how happy he was. That we never had to be apart again, and he would take care of us. I would let him this time. Because it was just a dream.
***
I woke to sunlight streaming through the cracked blinds, and I whined. I really needed to get those fixed. Stretching out my sore muscles, a smile crept across my face. My dream had been so real last night, so very…
The scent of amber and cinnamon floated up from my pillow, and my breath hitched. I didn’t imagine that. That was real.
I shot up, clutching the blankets around my chest. Ryland was sitting on the end of the bed. But he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at the picture of the sonogram they’d taken in the hospital. The one that I kept in my dresser drawer.
Oh, God.
My heart squeezed in my chest. He knew.
I waited for what felt like forever. He knew I was awake, but he wouldn’t look at me. He wouldn’t say anything. And I didn’t know why.
He was disappointed. Horrified. That could be the only explanation.
Finally, he stood up, his blue eyes meeting mine. I was afraid to look too deeply for fear of what I’d see there.
“How did you get in here?” I whispered.
“Anyone with two brain cells to rub together could get in here,” he roared. “And you’re fucking pregnant! How could you not tell me this?”
That was anger in his voice. Definite anger. And anger equated to disappointment. Right? My eyes burned, but I wouldn’t let him see me cry.
“It’s none of your business,” I bit out.
“None of my business?” he growled. “I’d have to disagree, Brighton. I’d say this is very much my fucking business.”
“I knew you’d react this way!” I yelled. “That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
He laughed darkly, and the cold Ryland was back, just like that. No more apologies, no more sweetness.
“No, you didn’t tell me because you wanted to punish me. You wanted to take this away from me. Well, I’ve got news for you, Brighton. That’s not going to fucking happen.”
“What are you saying?” My lip wobbled.
“Get your things together.” He walked towards the door. “You’re moving out of this shit hole. Today.”
Chapter Seventeen
Ryland
Have you ever had one of those moments where you felt as though time itself had suspended? Where you had to drag your sorry ass out of bed every morning with a mental pep talk you knew was complete drivel? Even the simplest gestures robbed you of precious energy. Dignity notwithstanding, I took comfort in the robotic voice inside my head instructing me what to do. How to perform the most basic of human functions.