Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 108376 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 542(@200wpm)___ 434(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108376 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 542(@200wpm)___ 434(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
“No! I would never cheat on you, Peter.”
“Then why has it gotten so loud? Before you left it was silent, I didn’t even know it was there, but now, now it’s constantly present, taunting me.”
“It’s not taunting you. I have no control over it. Honestly, I wish Vasilios had never given it to me in the first place but I have it now and I…”
“You what?” he challenged.
I rubbed at the goosepimples on my arms, hating this entire conversation but knowing it had to happen. “I feel like it’s become a part of me and removing it would be like removing a vital organ,” I finally answered, my voice barely more than a whisper.
The stoic mask fell away and I saw pain strike its way across Peter’s face. I saw his devastation and that same devastation was reflected in me. How could I hurt him like this when I still loved him with all my heart?
Tears filled my eyes. I moved to get closer to him but he shifted away. He pushed himself to stand and I followed suit.
“Don’t shut down on me,” I begged. “There’s still so much I need to tell you.”
“I’m not sure I want to hear it. This already hurts too much. I’ve been trying to ignore it ever since you got back but you don’t feel like mine anymore.”
“How can you say that? Of course I’m yours. I’ve always been yours.”
“You might want to be mine, but destiny has other plans.”
“Peter, please, we can figure this out. I’m sure there’s a way—”
“There’s no way for us to go on if you keep a part of him inside you.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came. My heart felt like it was splitting at the seams, about to bust open. I grabbed at the papers where he’d written down the spell, gathering them all up in my desperate, sweaty hands before shoving them at Peter.
“Cast the spell,” I demanded.
“Darya, this isn’t—”
“I said cast it, Peter. If it means I get to keep you then I’ll tear this thing out. I don’t care how much it protests and rages, how much it hurts. I’ll strip it all out because I love you more!”
Tears streamed down my face. Gently, Peter took the pages from my hands and set them aside. A pained sob racked my body as he pulled me into his arms. Lowering us onto the plush carpeted floor, Peter held me while I pressed my tear stained cheek to his shirt. Glancing up, I saw how glassy his eyes were and that just shattered me even more. He was hurting, too, and I hated every moment of it.
I brought my mouth to his and kissed him desperately. He kissed me back, but it was a sad kiss, a mournful one that made me miss him even though he was right there holding me.
“Make love to me,” I begged then felt his lips draw away.
His fingers moved over the line of my jaw, tilting my head up so that our eyes met. “Darya.” The way he said my name held so much meaning. It was like he was already saying goodbye and that made me even more determined to hold on tighter. The truth of it all plunged down on top of me like a tonne of bricks. I might’ve pleaded with him to cast the spell, but some part of him clearly didn’t believe me. Peter could sense the mark. He could hear it humming away inside me, and I’d become far too attached to purge it.
I was being selfish. If I wasn’t truly prepared to go through with the spell then how could I ask Peter to be with me when his magic could hear it so loudly? Even if we tried to forge ahead and make things work, would Vas’ looming presence eventually destroy us?
The salty sting of tears nipped at my cheeks while I took in Peter’s sad, handsome face. He cupped his large hand around my jaw, taking me in at the same time.
“I’ll always love you, Darya. I’ll always be here if you need me, but if your future doesn’t include me then I can’t force something that isn’t meant to be. That’s not me. It isn’t us.”
Words failed me. I felt like I was going to drown in my own tears, and then Peter swept me into his arms once more. He hugged me so tight it stole a little of the air from my lungs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his chest. Even though we were holding onto each other for dear life, I knew what this hug meant.
We were breaking up, and my heart was in danger of shattering into a million tiny pieces.
5.
It was disconcerting that I didn’t even remember the drive home. After leaving Peter, I drove unseeingly through the city streets then sat in my car outside my house and cried for so long I used up every tissue in the box I kept in the glove compartment.