Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 129980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Maestro forced himself to get beyond his protest. She was right to call it rape, but he didn’t like it. He thought it best to ignore the definition and just continue telling her about his past before he shut down.
“Sorbacov whispered to me not to worry, that no matter what the lying women said, he wouldn’t allow them to keep me. Even then I knew he was a liar. He was sadistic. He wanted me for the exact same reasons that my mother and aunt did. I had no worth as a person, only as a child to torture or have sex with. The women using me were every bit as bad as the men. Sometimes crueler—much, much crueler.”
A small frown appeared. “In what way?”
“They would pretend to be motherly or sweet. They would promise to help get me out of Sorbacov’s school. Several of them were that way. I wanted to believe them, so when I was a little kid, I did. They found it funny that I would be punished by Sorbacov for falling for a woman’s lie. It always earned me whippings and beatings. They took special delight in that.”
Azelie pressed her fingers to the corners of her eyes. “It’s hard to imagine you escaped intact. What truly despicable people.”
“I wish I could tell you it ended there, but my nightmare was just beginning at that school. As I grew up, I was trained to be an assassin for the government. Mostly, that meant I was Sorbacov’s private assassin. If he didn’t like someone’s politics, he sent one of us. I wasn’t the only child there. Along with learning languages and how to kill, we were all subjected to a multitude of sexual practices and expected to be proficient in all of them. We had to be in total control of our bodies as well as those of our partners. The idea was to seduce our targets.”
Something elusive flashed across her face, into her eyes, and he just managed to restrain himself from cursing.
“I know how that sounds, Solnyshkuh. I know how you could interpret what I just said, especially since you’re concerned that I’m here for Billows and not you.”
She wasn’t going to reply. He could see the conflicting emotions. She wanted to believe him, but he was asking a lot of her. He knew that.
“Baby, I only have the truth to give you. The truth of who and what I am. The last thing I want to do is come clean and have you change that expression on your face when you’re looking at me.”
Her long lashes fluttered, and he got that look—the one he was beginning to crave. He needed her to view him in that light. To see under all the bullshit Sorbacov and his cronies had heaped on him, shaping him into a mistrustful, lethal misogynist. He needed her to find good in him, to believe in him. She was someone worthwhile. She’d suffered the ultimate betrayal, and she still had a light shining so bright in her she could light up the world.
He bent forward to cup her cheek again, his thumb sliding over the bow of her mouth, over those silky lips. “If there is such a thing as loving someone, if that emotion is real, I feel it for you. I want you to think the best of me, not know the worst. I was betrayed over and over. I know exactly what it feels like, and I have no intention of ever betraying you.”
“I don’t know what to say to you, Andrii. Your life seems so harsh.”
He heard the compassion in her voice—also the trepidation. She was intelligent and she knew there was no getting over what he’d experienced. It would always color his life. Without warning, his need for reassurance, control and obedience might spring up at any moment.
“What happened to your mother and aunt? Did Sorbacov pay them off?”
He had half hoped she wouldn’t ask. He would never forget what Sorbacov had done to his mother and aunt. They were despicable women, but they didn’t deserve Sorbacov’s lesson in what women should be used for. Especially lying women, as he named them.
“Sorbacov loved to play with people and their emotions. It gave him great joy to watch others suffer. If there is such a thing as the ultimate sadist, it was Sorbacov. He wanted to see how long he could deceive someone. How many times they would let him go back on his word and then believe him again.”
Azelie frowned. “Adults continued to fall for his lies even after he’d proved himself a liar?”
She sounded so shocked that Maestro knew immediately she had that built-in radar now. She’d most likely always had a warning system but had developed it much faster and sharper after Quentin had murdered her family. That would be a challenge. He knew the old adage “once bitten, twice shy” applied. He’d had chunks torn out of him, and he would forever look for betrayal. He would have to carefully go over every word he said if he had to dodge her questions, make certain he never lied to her. He might get away with the sin of omission but not an outright lie.