Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 71651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
“You’ve always chased the city. Not going to let you lie to yourself—”
“I’ve always chased belonging,” he corrected me. “And maybe I can belong somewhere other than the city, if I’m happy. If I belong with you.”
Every defense inside me shattered to pieces, all at once.
I puffed out a breath of air, reaching out a hand to lean it on the side of the beetle.
“Ori,” I said.
“I hated it here because I was afraid,” he said, his voice softer now. “Finn, I’m not afraid anymore. I’ve been so—”
“Stop.”
“I’ve been so goddamn blind for so long.”
I let out a laugh that was more of a sob. “Oh, I’ve been the blind one, and we both know it,” I said, my words coming from the back of my throat.
“Then come here,” he said, his arms wrapping around my waist.
“God, Ori,” I said, moving in to kiss him.
And I kissed him hard. I pulled him as tight as I could against me.
I broke off only when I desperately needed to breathe, and desperately needed to tell him the only thing I could think.
“I love you. And it’s really not casual. I’m tired of pretending.”
“You know I love you too, Finn,” he said. “And maybe that’s more important than any city or town I’ve ever thought would be my answer.”
My hands squeezed tight against his back. I was clutching him like I’d dissolve into molecules if I didn’t.
Like I was making up for years and years of lost time holding him.
“You can fuck whoever you want so long as you’re always with me,” I rushed to say, leaning back and looking into his eyes. “You can be totally free. I’ll be jealous as all hell, but I’ll let you do anything, Ori—”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to fuck anybody else. Trust me. With other people, I could only do casual, but with you… casual isn’t even in the fucking dictionary, Finn.”
I moved lower, kissing against the side of his head. “I don’t believe any of this, just so you know. I’m pretty sure you’re going to have to wake up every morning and reassure me that this wasn’t a dream, and that you’re really still on board.”
“I know,” he said. “I can do that. Hell, I’ll even get up before six and come shovel horse shit with you, if you want me to.”
I laughed, exhaling. “No you won’t.”
“I might,” he said, a gleam in his eye.
There was so much of me that really couldn’t believe any of it. Couldn’t trust it yet, after years of uncertainty.
But another part of me?
Another part of me fuckin’ knew.
He did belong with me. He’d belonged with me since the moment I met him, and he belonged with me even during all of the years where he was gone.
We just needed to see it.
A low buzz came from Ori’s pocket, and after it didn’t stop for a solid minute, I nodded down.
“You need to get that?”
“I don’t want to, but I should,” Ori said, pulling out his phone and looking at the screen. “It’s Dani.”
I nodded. “Answer it. We’ll have time to, y’know, merge our fuckin’ bodies with each other later.”
All the time in the world, if you’re staying here, I thought, so giddy inside I practically wanted to jump.
“Dani,” Ori said, answering the phone while he was still in my arms. He put it on speakerphone.
“Stage five chaos,” Dani said over the speaker, and I heard the clattering chaos of the diner behind her. “I know it’s your day off, Ori, but Mary Ellen brought in a group of ten, and there’s this event across the way—is there any chance—”
Ori gave me a questioning glance. I nodded at him.
“I can be there,” Ori told Dani. “I know how bad it can get.”
“You are a hero and a lifesaver,” Dani said. “I’m sure it’ll calm down in a couple of hours.”
After he hung up, he gave me a sympathetic look.
“I’m so sorry,” he told me.
“Don’t be,” I said, smoothing his hair. “I’ll come too. I’ll help field Mary Ellen. She always likes talking to me about the horses.”
Ori peered at me like he was in disbelief. “You’re amazing, Finn. Too nice, and too selfless, but amazing. Did I just win the fucking gay lottery?”
I laughed, and it made him laugh, too.
“Yeah, I guess you kind of did,” I told him. “I did, too.”
I kissed him again because I couldn’t help it, which was going to be something that was going to happen a lot, I was pretty sure.
As I pulled away, he shook his head.
“Never going to feel like I deserve you,” he murmured. “But I’ll try.”
“And I’m going to make it my mission to get you to believe it,” I said.
He swallowed. “I love you,” he said.
“I love you, too. Now get your ass in this hunk of metal and let’s get to the diner.”