Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 73506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73506 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
Okay, all right. This is a little crazy, but I can move forward with this understanding. "Thank you.”
I want to go with him. I want to take Emmy and get in the car and drive to the school and pick up little Marco and meet him.
As soon as I have that thought, I wonder where it came from. What a strange thing to want. Just because Ricco looks like my dream man, just because I like being around him and he obviously likes being around me, just because he's good with my daughter… Just because he makes me feel alive…
No, it's not just because of any of those things, it's because of all of those things. Damn it, those things matter.
I lay in the bed next to Emmy after Ricco leaves. She turns around and puts her legs on either side of me and buries her head against my neck. I hold her, and stifle the need to cry, because this moment is so precious. Because so many emotions have risen to the surface, and I don’t know how to sort them. Because this moment in time is special and my heart knows things are about to change.
Because I'm nervous about tonight, because I know in my heart that, after tonight, I can't go back to the way things were.
With Nick, we lived a parallel existence, and the lines of our lives never crossed. With Ricco, they're already entwined, entangled, and complicated.
And I don't know if I want it any other way.
Later that night, I’m ready to go to Sarah's, and I have everything I need in my duffel bag.
I don't want Sarah to see me in the clothes that I'm planning on wearing, or the makeup, or the hair or anything.
I feel like I have two personalities right now—the crazy one where I am heading to a sex club for a demonstration and the sane but admittedly boring “mom by day” one.
But when Emmy and I get to Sarah’s, she takes one look at the bag, and one look at my yoga pants and ratty tee, and shakes her head.
“Girl… What the hell are you doing?" she says in a heated whisper.
"I have all my stuff in the bag," I whisper back. "Don't worry."
She narrows her eyes at me. “Show me.”
With a groan, I unzip the bag and show her a pair of ripped jeans and a pretty white button-down peasant-style top.
“Nope. Nope. Nah-ah.”
Sarah grabs me by the hand and yanks me into her room while the kids play.
“Sarah,” I begin, apprehensive and nervous as fuck.
“Trust me, sis.” She yanks open her closet and starts digging in the back. “Good thing we wear the same size because we don’t have time to shop. Let’s see….” Clothes fly over her shoulder, building a veritable mountain of fabric behind her. “This is perfect. And this.”
I don’t even see what she folds up and tucks into my bag. “You have to go. Look at the time! If you get there late, you might get spanked,” she says with mock seriousness.
I remember the slap to my ass earlier and stare at her.
“Go,” she says, pushing me toward the door. “And I promise if he spanks you, you’ll like it. Oh, and Dani? Pictures when you get there or it didn't happen."
I grin then choke on a snort before snickering out loud, and it feels like something inside me breaks open. A squeal finally takes over and I laugh so hard I have tears in my eyes. Sarah starts laughing, too, and before I know it, the two of us are convulsed in hilarity.
"What's so funny?" Emmy asks from the other room. I don't even know how to answer her.
“I think Mama just needed to laugh,” I tell her, wiping at my eyes. Sarah reaches her pinkie to mine and tugs.
“I pinky swear you’ll get pictures,” I say in a whisper. “Because it’s definitely happening.”
Sarah fist-pumps and does a little jig.
I do exactly what I say I'm going to do. I get to the club, and I enter the club. I look for Ricco but don't see him. Giving up on finding him for now, I head to the women’s locker room, or… whatever they call this room where women get dressed?
The girl I saw the other day is here. "Hey!" she says cheerfully. “Dani, right?"
"Yes. Quinn?”
“The one and only. What are you up to tonight?"
"I am… Uh… I’m doing a demo with Ricco.”
Quinn's jaw drops. “With Ricco? Are you really? That's so exciting! Wow, you must be really good at this."
I laugh nervously. "I don't know what I'm doing at all." I point to my duffel bag. “Um, all my stuff’s in there. I didn’t want my daughter to see.”
Quinn claps her hands. “Oh, my God, I love you. Let me help!”
In a sort of fog laced with nervous excitement, I undress right there in front of her. I strip to my bra and undies and ball my dowdy clothes in the bottom of the bag.