Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75388 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75388 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
The look on Lila’s face is so full of relief that I feel like an asshole. I’m so sorry, she tells me. I didn’t realize you’d want to go.
I don’t. I just want to spend time with my sister, the only person on the planet that I’m a hundred percent comfortable around. But I’m going to have to get used to the idea that she has a man in her life and he’s going to be taking up vast amounts of her time. Should you be going? I sign back, because I can’t help being a bit petty and dickish. What with being pregnant and all?
Her face flames bright red and she hesitates a moment. I don’t think I’m pregnant yet, because we’re still resonating…a lot.
T M I, I sign in slow, sweeping motions and make a face. All the more reason not to go.
She giggles, and she sounds so happy that my heart squeezes painfully. I feel like I’m losing my sister all over again, and this time not because she’s been kidnapped, but because she’s in love. There’s no getting her back from this. The close bond we had prior to arriving here is gone forever, because Rokan will always be attached to her now. It’s no longer Maddie and Lila against the world.
Now it’s just me against the world, and it’s the loneliest feeling ever.
I smile brightly at her to hide my pain and decide to change tactics. So you guys are going fruit picking? Who all is going? And I’m serious—if you’re pregnant or almost pregnant, Rokan can go without you, can’t he?
Her dark brows draw together and she gives a tiny shake of her head and begins to sign again. Someone else pauses, watching us gesticulate, and our conversation no longer feels private. I keep forgetting that the tribe is learning sign language through the computer at the Elders’ Cave and nothing I say to my sister is secret. Lila signs, Rokan has been nervous about something for a while. Says he’s uneasy at the thought of leaving me behind.
It’s probably because my sister is deaf. He’s smart to be extra watchful. I understand that. Lila can’t hear danger, and there’s a lot of danger on this barren, wintry planet. He’s smart to keep her with him at all times. I can’t fault the guy for that.
As for who is going… She pauses, thinking. Tiffany and Salukh, and Claire and Ereven. Josie and Haeden were supposed to go, but Josie’s feeling sick.
It sounds like a couples retreat. No wonder I’m not invited. I’m fat, out of shape, and a total fifth wheel. You’ll have fun, I tell her. When do you leave?
After lunch, she tells me, and her expression is eager.
Really? Today? I went and peeked out at the cave entrance this morning and snow was falling in big, fat flakes. It’s snowing.
It’s always snowing, Lila says with another happy giggle. This is good weather, I promise, and the guys know the path to the canyon we are seeking.
Well, you guys have fun, I tell my sister and then pull her into an impulsive hug before she can worry. I squeeze her tight and stroke her braids. Really, it’s good that she’s going without me, I tell myself. I hate physical labor and sweating and hiking and things along those lines. I sure hate snow, whereas Lila loves the outdoors here. Go figure.
I still feel like I’m being left behind.
Lila squeezes me back and then pulls away. I need to finish packing. We’ll be back in a few days. She smiles and then focuses on something behind me.
I turn and Rokan is there, watching his mate. Because of course he is. Those two are joined at the hip.
Go, I sign. Have fun.
She waves at me and trots over to join her mate. I watch his expression get all tender and hungry at the sight of her as he pulls her against him, and I have to look away. This must be how a mama bird feels when her baby birds leave the nest. Not that Lila’s my daughter, but I’ve always looked out for Lila and protected her, even before our parents died and left us alone.
I see one of the women by the communal fire and head in that direction. It’s Stacy, one of the new moms and the one who likes to cook. She’s got her goofy-looking sheet of metal that passes for a frying pan and is holding it over the fire, making cakes. Not pancakes, sadly, but some shitty root thing that tastes like a potato mated with a dog turd. Everyone here loves them, but I guess I’m still only a month or two gone from my last French fry, and to me they are not the same. “Hey, Stace.”
“Hi, Maddie,” she says, and though she smiles, there’s a wary note in her voice. Could be that I might have thrown one of those cakes at her head back when I first got to the main cave. Jeez, people sure do hold a grudge. “Hungry?”