Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 143382 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 717(@200wpm)___ 574(@250wpm)___ 478(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 143382 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 717(@200wpm)___ 574(@250wpm)___ 478(@300wpm)
I cut myself off with a painful gulp.
“Jessie?” Eric called.
“I gotta go. Talk to you later,” I blurted.
And then I hung up.
It was rude. But I couldn’t stop myself from doing it.
Just like I couldn’t stop myself from turning off all my lights, flipping off my Vans, crawling into bed, and curling myself into the gloom.
It’d pass, this darkness. I knew that because it always did.
It had to.
Life went on, and I had to get on with it.
But I’d learned through the years to just let it happen. To feel it, not bury it, so I could get on with it.
I loved my brother. I wanted everything for him. And the reality of it was, he’d never have that.
And it was a bottomless pit of how much that sucked.
I didn’t know how much time had passed before I heard my front door open.
Great.
Eric had called Cap to tell Raye to look in on me.
Fabulous.
I could deal with my girls having my back.
I couldn’t deal with anyone when I was like this.
I waited for her to call out.
She didn’t call out.
Getting a sinking feeling that it might not be Raye and instead it was someone who shouldn’t be in my place, my mind racing as to whether I’d locked the door when Luna left (I hadn’t), I was about to get up and grab my Taser when a shadow filled the doorway.
I’d know that shadow anywhere.
It was Eric.
I suddenly couldn’t breathe.
He didn’t say a word.
He just walked into my room, scooped me up out of bed like he did when he picked me up from the couch, but this time, he didn’t put me to my feet.
He got in my bed…
Yes!
He got in my bed!
Then he settled me in his lap, tucked my head under his chin, wrapped his arms around me, and they went tight.
Oh man.
This felt awesome. Way better than just hugging him, and that felt great.
“You didn’t have to come here,” I said huskily.
“Yeah, I did.”
I didn’t know what to say to that.
“You’re not crying,” he noted quietly.
“No,” I agreed, still huskily.
“You need to cry.”
“I’m not a crier.”
“I don’t have to tell you, you’re dealing with a lot,” he remarked.
“No, you don’t have to tell me that.”
“And it’s clear you have been for a long time.”
“Yep.”
“Babe, you need an outlet.”
Babe.
Did you call your adopted little sister “babe?”
Did you haul your ass over to her house after eleven at night to comfort her?
Did you hold her in your lap against your chest in her bed?
God, I wanted him so bad, so fucking bad, I needed to ask what was going on here.
But I couldn’t because I was scared shitless about his answer.
“Do you cry when you’re upset?” I asked.
“I cried when my mom died.”
“You were thirteen.”
“It didn’t happen at the time, but when I got home and I was alone, I cried because my father showed up at my graduation from the FBI Academy so drunk out of his brain, he had to be ejected.”
Oh god.
I hated that for him.
The only way I could express the depths of that hatred was to mumble, “Yuck.”
Lame.
But there it was.
“They were angry tears, and they didn’t last long,” he carried on. “But I shed a few when one of Tim’s baby mommas called me, asking me if I knew where he was and telling me he was behind six thousand dollars in child support. This was more of an issue than it normally simply was, because my nephew just got out of the hospital after getting his tonsils out, and not only did Tim not pitch up to visit his kid, she didn’t have the money to pay the co-pay.”
“I’d cry about that too,” I noted. “Let me guess, you sent her the money.”
“Of course.”
Of course.
“I’m not the kind of girl who schleps around, pissed about shit I have no control over,” I informed him.
“That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have a reaction when that shit bites you in the ass,” he returned.
“True,” I mumbled.
Eric started stroking my back.
It felt like…
Everything.
Man, I was in trouble.
“Tell me about him,” he murmured.
“He’s funny. He’s sharp. It’s weird, because he’s kinda like Harlow. When things are going well, he’s always in a good mood. Life did him dirty, and still, that’s Jeff.”
“Look forward to meeting him.”
The idea of Jeff meeting Eric…
Shit, Jeff would totally dig Eric.
He’d dig all the guys.
Most especially, he’d dig knowing I had this capable crew in my life.
On these thoughts, I turned my head and shoved my face in his throat.
Eric tangled his long fingers in my hair.
“It’s really cool you came, but you don’t have to be here,” I said into his skin.
“Something else you should know about Jack and Rose.”
I tensed at this intro, but prompted, “What?” when he said no more.
“Jack did the right thing. Not because he was a guy, and she was a woman. But because he cared about her, and he gave everything just for a shot that she’d make it out alive.”