Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 69452 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 232(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69452 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 232(@300wpm)
“Do you honestly think that I’m going to make it much past when you’re not here anymore?” I asked.
Her mouth dropped open. “Of course you are!”
I was already shaking my head. “I don’t want to be here without you, Mary.”
She fisted my shirt and yanked me toward her, her eyes spitting fire. “You will stay here. You have children that need you. You have grandbabies that are going to need you. Great-great-grandchildren to look forward to. You will stay here, and you will fucking like it, and you’ll do it because that’s what I want!”
I couldn’t help the smile that kicked up at the corner of my mouth.
“Will I?” I asked.
She poked me in the chest with a pointy finger.
“I promise that I’ll try,” I admitted, not willing to promise something that I wasn’t sure that I could give. “But let me be clear, I’m not going to try that hard. If the Lord wants to take me, I’ll willingly go. Because I want to be with you. Wherever you are.”
She cupped my cheek. “I’m going to fight this, Dix.”
I knew she would.
But I knew in my heart she wasn’t going to win.
The doctor’s face had said it all the moment he’d seen the scans.
This wasn’t something that she was going to be walking away from.
Sure, she may fight it off long enough to keep her here a bit longer, but she wasn’t going to win it.
Six months or ten, she’d be dying and leaving me behind.
“Go for a ride, Dix,” she suggested. “Go explore the streets. Find us the best place to ride, and we’ll go as soon as I have dinner cooked and we’ve eaten.”
I knew she needed the time to process, and I wasn’t going to argue.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll go explore. I’ll be back before nightfall.”
She blew me a kiss, which I caught.
I drove around for a couple hours, exploring the city.
It was about ten minutes before I’d intended to head back home that Silas caught up with me.
He waved, and we pulled over at the first gas station we got to.
His eyes studied mine when he said, “Everything okay?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure how the hell I’m supposed to act like the woman that keeps me breathing isn’t leaving me.”
“You’re not,” he said softly. “You’re not supposed to act at all.”
I scrubbed my face with my hands. “I’m fucking terrified. I don’t know how to live without her anymore.”
He didn’t have anything to say to that.
And honestly, there was nothing he could say.
When it was time for me to leave, he followed me home, then waited until I was walking inside before he turned around.
Just because it was a new house, though, didn’t mean that I didn’t know the smell the moment that I opened the door.
I couldn’t help the small smile that curved my lips when I found her in the kitchen, doing what she loved the most—cooking.
There’d been so many memories of her in this exact position over the years.
Sometimes with a pregnant belly. Sometimes with a baby on her hip. Sometimes with both.
Then there were the times when the kids decided to help and our house was a fucking mess because of it.
I rubbed at my chest right over my heart.
“What are you doing, honey?” I questioned when I came into the kitchen to find almost the entire counter lined with jars.
She looked at the jars, then at me. “What does it look like I’m doing, Dix?”
I loved that smart mouth.
“Looks like you’re cookin’,” I teased.
“I am.” She winked.
“Why are you cooking?” I pushed.
She only cooked like this when she was stressed.
Not that she didn’t have a damn good reason to be stressed, but still.
She shouldn’t be cooking.
She ignored me and waved me over.
I came, fully expecting her to say what she said next.
Again, something we’d done a thousand times before.
“Taste.”
I tasted, the flavor of cinnamon apples bursting on my tongue.
“Excellent,” I said as I licked the spoon clean.
Her eyes heated.
“Dix?” she teased.
I pulled her into my arms. “Yeah, Mary?”
“Love me.”
So I did.
With my mouth and my hands, with my cock and my body.
When we were both panting and sated in our bed, she rolled over so that her face rested against my chest.
“Dix?” she asked.
I smoothed my hand up her bare back.
God, I loved this woman.
With my whole fucking heart. “Yeah, Mary?”
“I’m making as much food as I can,” she admitted.
I knew that.
I knew what she was doing.
She was giving me little pieces of herself. Something that I could eat, and remember that they were made with every ounce of love she possessed.
Tears clogged my throat as I said, “I know, honey.”
She smoothed her hand up my chest, coming to a stop over my pounding heart.
“I’ll be lucky to make it until next year,” she finally admitted.
I closed my eyes, tears—God, so many fucking tears—clogging my throat. “I know, baby.”