Total pages in book: 30
Estimated words: 26768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 134(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 134(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Looking in the mirror, each bit of makeup slowly wipes away and my freckles show through again. I wash my face next and do my skincare before stepping out into the bedroom to head to the closet for my sleepwear. Nico sits on the black velvet upholstered bench placed at the foot of our bed. He is still in some of his suit, but much more dressed down. He lost his shoes, watch, tie, and suit jacket. The top four buttons of his shirt are undone, and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. Nico’s eyes are on the ground, and he spins his wedding ring around his finger. I gulp, very aware that there is something on his mind and the unknown is intimidating. I try to move about the room and continue my routine as best I can, but my stomach is in absolute knots.
Once in the closet, I pick out an all-silk thigh-length black teddy dress and change into it. I drop my hair from my claw clip and enter the bedroom again. Nico has not moved even an inch. Tension in the air grows thicker and thicker with each passing second. I sit on my side of the bed and pull out my honeysuckle lotion from my nightstand and start placing it on.
“Emelia.” Nico’s voice is eerily low. My spine tingles and it’s not in a good way.
“My love.” I am anything but calm and my response is riddled with fear.
“You didn’t go to visit the other wives today.” He stands and I straighten. Nico doesn’t look at me as he places his hands in his pocket and saunters slowly to the floor-to-ceiling windows.
“I know, I stayed home and read instead. I was too exhausted to expel energy on those women.” That was quick. Good job, Emelia, keep it going.
“Is that right?” He watches the town he runs and suddenly, I think I’m not as good at thinking on my toes as I wanted.
“Nico, you were at me all night. I wanted to rest,” I remind him, putting the lotion away.
“I was, and I thought you were enjoying last night but ever since this morning, you have been acting off. Are you unhappy, mia moglie.”
I shake my head rapidly. God, if he only knew it’s the opposite and I am just trying to think of new ways to get closer.
“Never, Nico, I am so happy in our marriage. Why would you think that?” I stand. Expecting him to turn, I’m disheartened when he stays facing away from me. It disconnects us at this very moment, and I hate it.
“I’m talking about our sex life. You ignored and didn’t react to my subtle touches at dinner and in the car to and from dinner. You keep shutting your brain off and I can’t help but wonder if you aren’t satisfied.” Oh, my love. My husband. Ever the confident man, showing his cards. I remove my teddy in one swoop and move to him in soft strides. My bare front touches his strong wall of body from behind and I wrap my arms around his waist, kissing him in the center of his back.
“Nico, no, god no. Please. I love your touches, don’t ever take them from me, il mio re,” I beg. My eyes welling with tears.
He and I are on the same wavelength and yet we both don’t know it. Only me. He is feeling that divide, the separation and I am finding a way to close it. He doesn’t say a word or move, and I drop to my knees, placing my ass against my calves and I wait for him to make a move. He needs it. The power. This life takes us away from one another often and now with three children we are constantly pulled in so many directions that there is an invisible wall of doubt and disconnect that comes.
Keeping my eyes low to the ground, I watch his feet as he turns. He is peering down at me, this is a given and I eagerly await him.
“Up, do not bow to me when I want to know what’s going on with you. Why are you pulling away from me?” I lift my head slowly and our eyes search one another. He looks so powerful, but tender and afraid.
I have a chance now, to ask him about those rooms and the life before me. But if I do that, then he will keep a watchful eye on me and honestly, I think he will sense insecurity. Because I did. This morning when the thoughts started swarming my brain and I couldn’t place them, immediately I went to a dark place. But soon, after I lived in my psyche for long enough, I realized I was just curious and wanted to be all of Nico’s lasts and his bests.