Total pages in book: 30
Estimated words: 26768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 134(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26768 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 134(@200wpm)___ 107(@250wpm)___ 89(@300wpm)
I’m slow to get dressed in my yellow sundress. It hugs me tightly and I feel like it’s too tight. My mind is spinning a mile a minute and this feeling of not being good enough is overpowering me. I put on a pair of white sandals that tie up and around the ankle and I pull my long blond hair back into a high, slicked-back ponytail. I keep my makeup light. Some blush and bronzer on my cheeks and a little bit of mascara. I will just cry it off anyway. Stepping into the living area, I see the strawberries and cherries sitting there. Right next to the cash.
My stomach turns and I once again have to keep myself from losing what little contents are in my stomach. Nico steps out of the bathroom, dressed in jeans, a long sleeve cotton shirt and his casual dress shoes. His hair isn’t slicked back completely but he combed it back and out of his face. My tears threaten to resurface, but I turn to look away. I walked in this room pretending my husband was a stranger and right now, with all the ruminating thoughts taking up space in my head, filling me with doubt, I feel like I am leaving with a stranger.
He doesn’t say anything, just grabs our bags and opens the door. I step out and head to the elevator. I feel his eyes watching me from behind and I wish I could crawl out of my skin. It feels like he is looking at me and thinking all my glaring thoughts. I am enough for him, but I’m not enough for the rest of the world to find desirable. This is the most embarrassing thing I have felt. Ever.
The car ride home, even worse. He didn’t ask me anything. Didn’t try and say sorry or explain himself. He didn’t put his hand on my thigh where it always belongs. And the second we get home, I put a wall so far up between us, it will take a bulldozer of truth from his lips to possibly break it down.
Chapter Ten
NICO
Ican’t share her. They will want her. They will take her from me. She is so magnetic and sexually divine that they will try and take her. They could come after her. Hurt her. My world is inside her palms. That heart in her chest is what keeps the one in mine pumping. There is no doubt that there would be men who would see what I see and want to claim it and I can’t risk my wife’s safety. I won’t. But this hurt her. Why? What is it that voyeurism gives her that I haven’t? What am I lacking that she still seeks attention from others?
The next few days, she avoids me. At all costs. Ignoring my calls when I check in during the day. Claiming to not be feeling well when dinner time rolls around. She spends time with our children during the day and leaves the moment I get home, only coming to tuck them in. I would dominate the situation, usually. Demand her to talk to me, but I am hurting too. My wife seeks validation for her pleasure, beauty, and whatever else from other men.
If I go to her the way I want to, I will chain her ass to the bed and never let her leave. And I am on the verge of doing it. It isn’t fucking below me. But she’s pregnant. Fuck. My wife is pregnant. Just like we have been wanting and I want to celebrate this with her and kiss her stomach every second I can, but she turns from me in bed and repels my touch. Worst part? Emelia has cried in her sleep the past few nights.
Maybe the hotel wasn’t what I thought. What I felt was a redeclaration of our love and passion, was really just her attempting to find her spark that she lost for us. For me.
I am not a fucking insecure or jealous man, but clearly, God damn it, I am!
I have been at the club all morning and into the evening, working my ass off. Getting lost in the only other thing that I have control over. But it always comes back to her. Emelia. I have to figure this out. Or I might just push her so far away from me.
“Sir. You all right?” Giulio asks, sitting opposite me on the other side of my desk.
“I’m fine. What?” I bark.
“Nothing, you just seem off. Is Emelia all right?”
I breathe deep out of my nose. “No, but it’s not your business. How’s the room? Is it done?” That dreaded fucking room that I want to now take a damn torch to and never speak of again.
“It is. As of this morning. We will open it to the members tomorrow. We have some of the girls who want to try it out before. Some were wondering if they could bring someone in today. Others mentioned if they could have their clients test it out while they used the viewing room. And—”