Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 78487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
In my room, I pull off my cut and fall onto my bed. I’m bone tired. All I want is to sleep and stop the chaos in my head.
And to put the thought of losing Rory out of my mind.
My alarm goes off at six. I get up, shower, and pretend my chest doesn’t ache with longing and fear. I focus on the day ahead. We’re still in damage control, thanks to those psychos and their fucking flamethrower.
I check my cell for any messages, my heart quietly hoping there is one from Rory. But just like the million times I checked it in the last eight hours, there isn’t any.
I throw on my cut and try to push it out of my mind, but the feeling I might be losing her hangs over me all morning.
During Church, I’m preoccupied and even quieter than usual when we visit the smoldering ruins of the grow barn.
By the time we break for lunch back at the clubhouse, I’m crawling the walls because I need to see her.
“You wanna tell me what’s got your panties in a twist?” Paw asks, biting into a burger dripping with hot sauce and cheese.
“It’s nothing,” I reply, pushing my food away.
I can’t eat.
Rory asking me not to come back last night and her radio silence ever since has got me twisted up inside.
I don’t doubt she loves me.
What I do doubt is whether I’m enough to stop her from running away from what’s got her frightened.
“Brother, I’ve known you four years, and in all that time, I’ve never seen you push food away. You sick?”
I stand up so fast I knock over my chair. “I said it’s nothing.”
I walk away and hit the clubhouse gym for the next two hours because I’m about ready to ping off the walls with restless energy.
I beat the bag until I’m breathless. I yank the battle ropes until my arms are burning with fire and flip the tractor tire until my shoulders beg me to stop.
When I finally give in and stop punishing my body, I see Paw leaning up against the wall, looking at me.
“Want to tell me what’s going on?” he asks calmly.
“Like I said, there’s nothing to tell.”
“You’ve been training for two hours on as much sleep. What’s happening in that head of yours?”
Chaos. That’s what’s happening.
“I need to work off some energy, is all.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sure punching bag doesn’t agree. I think I saw it sigh with relief when you walked away.” I go to walk past him, but he stops me. “Is this about Rory? Has something happened with your girl?”
I hesitate long enough for him to decide he’s right.
“You guys have a fight? You know, I’ve never seen you like this over some girl before.”
I glare at him. She’s not just some girl.
“Don’t give me your fight face,” he says calmly. “I’m simply pointing out that you’re distracted, and maybe now is not a good time to be.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be right to fight Raptor on Friday night.”
“Hey, I don’t give a fuck about that. We might not be blood brothers, but you are my brother. If you’re not okay, talk to me. Don’t carry it alone. Let me help you. It might ease some of the pressure banging about in that skull of yours.”
I don’t want to talk about it.
Don’t want to face it.
But Paw is right.
Talking about it might help, even if sharing things isn’t in my nature.
“There’s something she’s not telling me, and whatever it is, it’s got her running scared. She tells me she loves me and then tells me not to come around for a while. That she needs space.”
He grimaces. “She say how long she needs space for?”
“Told me not to come back last night.”
“You hear from her today?”
I shake my head. I’ve checked my phone a million times. Even gave in and called her, but it went to voice message.
“Could be nothing,” he says.
“Or it could be everything.”
“There’s a lot going on right now.”
“No shit.”
“You need to get your head back on straight. Go see your girl. Do whatever you got to do, just fix it.”
“She’s keeping something from me, and every time she tries to bring it up, she gets scared and pulls away. She tried telling me something last night. But then she got scared again and told me not to come back. Whatever is going on with her, it’s big enough to make her want to run away.”
“Then you need to find out what it is.”
I walk away.
In the quiet of my shower, I stand under the warm stream of water and brace myself against the tiles. My shoulders ache. Hell, everything does.
Drying off, I dress and check my cell again, but the screen is still empty.
It’s been almost twenty-four hours since I left her apartment.