Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 186555 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 933(@200wpm)___ 746(@250wpm)___ 622(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186555 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 933(@200wpm)___ 746(@250wpm)___ 622(@300wpm)
Mom had a little star and a wave-like symbol next to it. I hoped it meant something good since her information had literally been pretty direct with no other notes on it.
Every day I could feel my heart growing. Could feel myself growing here in this place.
The truth was, I loved the smell of the air. I loved the customers at the shop who were all so nice. I loved Clara and Amos, and even Jackie was back to making eye contact with me… even though we didn’t talk much. And Mr. Nez made me so happy during the few times I’d gotten to see him.
I was doing a lot better at work. I’d put up a bat house. I’d gone on a date. I was owning all of this. I was settling in.
And finally, I was going to do this hard-ass hike.
Today.
For not just my mom but for me too.
I was so motivated I even sang a little bit louder than normal while I got ready, telling someone about what I really, really wanted.
Making sure I had all of my things—a life straw, a bottle with a built-in water filter, two extra gallons to start with, a turkey and cheddar sandwich with nothing else in it so that it didn’t get soggy, way too many nuts, an apple, a bag of gummies, and an extra pair of socks—I walked out, double-checking my mental list to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything.
I didn’t think so.
Glancing up as I made it to my car, I spotted Amos trudging back to the house, shoulders slumped and looking exhausted. I bet he’d forgotten to roll the trash can to the street and his dad had woken him up to do it. It wouldn’t be the first time. He’d complained to me about it before.
I lifted my hand and waved. “Morning, Amos.”
He lifted his hand back, lazily. But I could tell he noticed what I was wearing; he’d seen me leave the house enough to go for hikes to recognize the signs: my dark UPF pants, long-sleeved UPF white shirt I’d bought at the store layered over a tank top, my jacket in one hand, hiking boots on, and a cap barely resting on the top of my head.
“Where are you going?” he asked, pausing on his journey back to bed.
I gave him the name of the trail. “Wish me luck.”
He didn’t, but he did nod at me.
One more wave and I ducked into my car just as Rhodes came out of his house, dressed and ready for work. Someone was running later than usual.
We’d barely seen each other over the last couple of weeks, but every once in a while, his words the day of my date with Johnny came back to me. Kaden used to call me beautiful all the time. But out of Rhodes’s mouth… it just felt different, even if he’d said it casually, like it was just a word with no meaning behind it.
That’s why I honked, just to be a pest, and noticed his eyes narrow before he lifted a hand.
Good enough.
I was out of there.
* * *
I’d hoped in fucking vain, I realized hours later when my foot slipped on a patch of loose gravel on a downhill part.
Mom had put the star around the name of it to symbolize the stars she’d seen after getting a concussion crossing the main ridge of the trail.
Or maybe a star to mean you had to be an alien to finish it because I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready at all.
Fifteen minutes in, I should have known I wasn’t in good enough shape to do this in a day. It was five miles in, five out. Maybe I should’ve listened to Rhodes’s advice way back when he’d suggested I camp, but I still hadn’t been able to talk myself into doing it by myself yet.
I’d sent Uncle Mario a text to let him know where I was hiking and approximately what time I would get back. I’d promised to text him again when I was done, so that someone knew. Clara wouldn’t worry unless I didn’t show up at the shop the next day, and Amos might not notice I wasn’t around until he hadn’t seen my car for too long, and who knew what he’d consider to be too long.
You didn’t know what it was like to be alone until you didn’t have people who could or would notice if you went missing.
Besides being out of breath, my calves cramping, and having to stop every ten minutes to take a five-minute break, everything had been going okay. I was regretting it, sure, but I hadn’t given up hope that I could actually finish the hike.
At least until I got to that damn ridge.
I really had tried to catch my balance on the way down, but I’d hit the ground hard anyway.