Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 427(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 427(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
“Fucking finally,” I muttered. That empty pocket in the left lane was so mine. I sped up and managed to zigzag probably fifty feet until shit backed up again.
All right, now I could respond to Kellan.
I grabbed my smokes and lit one up, then rolled down the window and typed while keeping one eye on the road.
Responsible was my middle name.
About to have my asshole whacked.
“Oh fuck. Christ!” I laughed at myself.
*waxed
I snickered. I was totally telling West later.
“Ahhh, there we go.” I could finally see my exit up ahead, and I went for it. Dick move—sorry for cutting you off, lady. Yeah, my bad.
I flicked a super-quick glance at the screen and grinned when I saw Kellan’s answer.
That’s not better!
I cracked up. I begged to differ! I’d rather get my asshole waxed than killed!
Finn left the conversation.
“Wait, what?” I dropped my gaze once more, and I—
Bro, were you supposed to send that to me in private?
“Oh, no, no, no, no…” Holy shit, the first answer hadn’t been from Kellan. That was Colm! “No, no, no, no!”
It’s a bad day for reading comprehension.
“Nooo!” I groaned. Not Liam! Motherfucker!
The driver right behind me honked, and this was officially not my day. I stepped on the gas and flicked ashes out the window, then the whole smoke because, fuck this. I was done. I had to focus.
Oh my God, I couldn’t believe it. And Finn had left the chat!
I laughed and kept groaning, knowing I had a choice to make. Either I joked it off, or I…
I had to joke it off.
I had to double down.
By the time I arrived at my parents’, a lot had happened in the chat. Kellan had dragged Finn back, Colm and Eric had debated whether I was a pain slut, Liam asked if they used hot wax or cold—never mind, Finn had left again. Oh, fuck me. Liam then let us know he was about to piss himself laughing, and Kellan added Finn once more.
I blew out a breath and scratched my head.
Here goes.
Excuse me for wanting to share more about myself. I’ll remember this when I go in for the bleaching next week.
That should do it.
Colm was the first to reply.
What are you bleaching? Your nose hair?
Eric followed.
You don’t know how fast his ass hair grows out, mate.
Then Liam.
We could also bond over football, little brother. That’s an option too.
I squinted up the sidewalk and, yeah, no, fuck it, I gave up.
Next time I checked my phone, I was sure Finn would be ghost again.
Actually, I did have one last thing to type, because one of us was supposed to do it. Might as well be me. Plus, it would end this conversation hella swift.
Guys, have you seen the news?
There.
I jogged up the stoop and hit the buzzer, and Dad let me in.
The elevator worked for once, so I didn’t need to run up the stairs and risk sweat around my unwhacked asshole.
That was nice.
Dad opened the door just as I was about to knock.
“Oh—hey.” I smiled and walked in. “How are you?”
“I’ll let you know when I’ve narrowed it down to half a dozen emotions,” he said. “What about you?”
“Other than the fact that I just made a giant ass of myself in a group chat, I’m great.” I shrugged off my coat and hung it up.
“Alfie, is that you?” Ma called.
“Aye!” I kicked off my shoes next and trailed into the living room. “How are you, Mom?”
She was still in her robe and curlers, and she looked comfortable. Like she might actually be enjoying the time off work—if only a little. If only in the mornings.
“I am okay. Your father bought breakfast.” She gestured at the coffee table. “One day, he will learn to cook.”
“I don’t think he will, honey,” Dad answered.
I chuckled and dipped down to kiss her cheek. Then I sat next to her, and she prepared me a plate with scrambled eggs, a croissant, and bacon.
“What brings you by, mijo?” she asked.
“I, uh…” I exchanged a brief glance with Dad. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“Yes…?”
I cleared my throat and left my plate on the table for now. “It’s about the attack.” I saw how she stiffened, and I hated it. “I want you to know it’s over. Those two men who’ve been going after those women—and you—they’re not gonna be a problem anymore.”
She knitted her eyebrows in confusion, and I nodded at Dad to turn on the news.
They weren’t gonna show anything gruesome or nothing. Uncensored videos were leaked on social media.
“What do you mean?” Mom asked me, turning toward the screen.
The local station showed a banner at the bottom that read “Who runs Philly?” which was a play on the messages that’d been left with each body part. Simple white card in a simple white envelope.
You know who runs Philly.