Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 124135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 621(@200wpm)___ 497(@250wpm)___ 414(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 621(@200wpm)___ 497(@250wpm)___ 414(@300wpm)
Her heart was dying.
“It’s getting worse.” She looked at the boxes around her. Her college life all packed up in cardboard. “I’m fading fast. We knew it was a possibility. But I didn’t think it would be this quick. My breathing is getting worse. My hands and limbs are getting weak.” When she looked into my eyes, hers were haunted. “Soon I won’t be able to play or sing.” Her face contorted, and I dropped to my knees and pulled her to my chest. “Music, Cromwell. I won’t be able to sing.” She drew back and said, “I have to move home now. Things have gotten too hard to be here on my own.” She sucked in a breath. “Then, it’ll be the hospital.”
“No.” I shook my head. “There’s got to be something they can do.”
Bonnie ran her hand through my hair. It was becoming my favorite thing she did. “I’m on the transplant list, Cromwell. That’s all there is left to do. Right now I’m nowhere near the top.” A steely determination set in her brown eyes. “But I’m determined to get that heart. I’ve fought for years. And I am not giving up now.” She took my hand in hers and held on tightly. Her bottom lip shook. “I don’t want to die, Cromwell. I have too much to live for.”
I couldn’t breathe as those words slipped from her lips. I felt my eyes fill and I closed them, trying to chase the tears away. Bonnie just held on tighter. When I opened my eyes, she was watching me. “I would have lived my whole life trying to achieve even a tenth of the talent you have, Cromwell. It’s why I was so hard on you. Because of the gift you have.” Her eyes dropped. “And I think I would have spent my whole life waiting for a boy to treat me as you have recently.” She swallowed. “Last night…it was everything I could have wished for.”
“Bonnie,” I whispered.
“But you can’t be with me for this next part, Cromwell.” I shook my head. “Shh,” Bonnie said. “I should never have let it get that far. But even though it is failing, losing strength, my heart latched itself to yours, and I had to know what it was like. To be with you.” She sniffed and a tear fell. “You made me feel so cherished.”
I needed to get up. To take Bonnie with me and to fucking run from whatever this shit was. But we couldn’t run when the very thing we were trying to escape from, the thing that was dying, was the thing that still kept her alive.
“I’m sorry.” Bonnie put her hands on my face and kissed me. “I’m so sorry, Cromwell.”
“No,” I argued, head shaking. “Don’t.”
“I’m sorry,” she said again. “But I can’t do it to you.” She stood, leaning on her chair for support. My mind reeled when I thought of her lately. How slowly she would walk. The times she would stop and catch her breath, disguising her reason for stopping as something else. The dark circles under her eyes. The need for so much sleep. The camisole she didn’t want to take off last night. If she’d had surgeries before…it had covered her scars.
“I don’t want to go anywhere,” I said.
“Please, Cromwell. Please just leave it be.” Her hand was tight on the chair. “I have to fight. But if I lose…if that fight is over before I have a chance to try…” She shook her head. “I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t hurt you in that way.”
“Bonnie—”
The sound of footsteps came into the room, cutting me off. A woman with brown hair and Bonnie’s eyes walked into the room. Her eyes widened when she saw me. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you had company.”
“He was just leaving, Mama,” Bonnie said. Her voice was still thick with tears.
“Bonnie—”
She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Thank you,” she said and sat back down on her seat. My mind was reeling.
“No,” I argued.
“Please,” she said, breaking into a cry. I reached forward, but a hand on my back stopped me. I turned to see her mum.
“Please, son,” she said, her accent just as strong as her daughter’s. I didn’t want to leave Bonnie. I didn’t want to go. But I didn’t want to see Bonnie cry. I stepped out into the corridor with her mum. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. My head was a jumble. Bonnie…dying…heart failure…transplant…It wouldn’t sink in. It wouldn’t…
Her mum was watching me closely. Her eyes were shining too. “Give her a chance to get settled at home. Give her a chance to adjust. This is all hitting her hard.”
I stared at her, wondering how the hell she was holding it together. But then I saw her lip shake and realized she wasn’t. She’d just got good at hiding it.