Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 117920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 590(@200wpm)___ 472(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 590(@200wpm)___ 472(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
I don’t believe in ghosts, but I still think you can be haunted. By your past. By your mistakes.
By your lies.
I’m staring at the closet now, just willing for it to open again, for this ghost to prove me wrong.
But the room is empty and dark, and it feels different. There’s no malice here, no terror. There’s snow swirling outside the windows, casting in a cold, hazy light even though it’s probably the middle of the night now.
I lay my head back against the pillow and take in a deep breath, trying to pacify my racing heart.
I didn’t even want to come here.
After I slept with Aurora, after we had finally given in to each other, the last thing I wanted to do was leave her. But duty calls, often at rotten times, and I had to go early the next morning to Stockholm. I wanted to bring her. If she was anyone else in the world, I could have brought her. She could have been my date for my dinners here with the royal family, first with King Arvid, then with Prince Viktor.
It’s a stark reminder of who she is.
She’s not my date.
Not a girlfriend.
Not just a lover.
But the nanny.
I had sex with my fucking nanny.
To anyone looking in, I would look like a disgrace. I would look lecherous and bullying and a slave to desire. She would look like a victim, perhaps even the opposite. She’s fourteen years younger than me, my help, and I’m a widowed old man.
No one would understand the truth.
That she’s not just a nanny.
She’s Aurora.
She’s my reckoning and savior all at once.
She’s her namesake, those northern lights that brighten the darkest winter skies.
She’s my homecoming.
And I’m in love with her.
It’s pointless now to deny it, especially after last night, when I buried myself deep inside her and found everything I’d ever been looking for.
That woman walked into my life like the blazing sun, burning away the cobwebs and illuminating all those dark and hollow points inside me. She made me realize what it is to be happy and to have someone that makes you happy. She gave me life again when I’d stopped living mine long ago.
She’s all those things to me, she’s everything to me.
And that’s why I’m choosing to ignore reality for now.
Because I have something rare and beautiful in my hands, a precious bird, and I don’t ever want to let her go. If I did, Aurora would fly away, and I’d spend the rest of my days searching the sky.
So I’m going to do what I do best and revel in denial. I’m going to pretend that what we have is good enough for now. That we can continue being together in secret, in private. That I can hide what we are from everyone else.
To be honest, I wouldn’t want to share it anyway. It’s no one’s business but ours.
I might be a bit presumptuous, too, thinking that Aurora wants to continue this, whatever this is. Perhaps she just wanted to get it out of her system. Perhaps last night was all there was between us.
I thought the same at first. I thought maybe, if I finally gave in to this raw, powerful storm that had been building between us for months, I could get her out of my system. An exorcism.
I couldn’t be more wrong.
I sigh and try to fall back asleep, but sleep is elusive now.
My hand pushes down my briefs and wraps around the base of my cock and I’m already hard, just thinking of her. I wonder if I should call her but decide it’s too risky. Not only could someone hear us, but I don’t want to come on any stronger than I already have. She’s no wallflower and she knows exactly what she wants in bed, what makes her feel good. But jumping from sex to phone sex doesn’t seem right.
So I stroke my dick, feeling the hot, rigid length under my palm, and think of last night.
I think of her eyes, soulful and deep, right before I kissed her.
I think of the way she moaned when I pushed deep inside her, the small gasp of pain and pleasure that fell from her mouth.
And I think of how I wanted to give her more, just like that, every single day into eternity.
* * *
Though I always enjoy my time in Sweden, getting out of the palace and being around friends, people who understand what it’s like to be a person in my position, to be a royal, I couldn’t get back to Copenhagen fast enough.
Thankfully the flight is very short, and I was back at the palace by noon.
“How was your trip, sir?” Nicklas asks me as soon as I step inside, stomping the snow off my boots.
I side-eye him. “It was good.”
Nicklas is smarting a little. Normally he goes with me when I travel but because this was just a social visit to Sweden, I decided against it. When he was with Helena, he went absolutely everywhere, social visit or not, but that’s because he was fucking her. And if he dares to ever press the issue, that’s exactly what I’ll tell him.