Total pages in book: 164
Estimated words: 152666 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 763(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 509(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152666 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 763(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 509(@300wpm)
“I feel for you, love. I do actually know what that’s like. With me, it was guys influenced by the demon magic who just wanted to fuck. They didn’t care what. That’s what that magic does to you. The next day, though, when they realized they’d been with me—another man . . . We’ll just say that the fall-out wasn’t pleasant.”
I nodded. Different situations with the same result. I hugged him a little tighter and he put his hand over mine, sharing our pain. Sharing a moment. I felt my eyes prick with tears knowing someone understood.
“She was with the alpha from court for a few months before she realized she was pregnant. I think it blindsided her that he didn’t want me. She’d been desperately in love, and it seemed like she’d thought he was, too. When he sent her away . . . It crushed her. She couldn’t talk about it without breaking down. I think that’s why she went. He’d torn out her heart and she didn’t have the will to fight. She took the money for passage and a little coin for starting a new life and left. She rarely talked about it. It was just us after that, town to town, house to house.”
“Why did you move so often?”
“Chased out, usually. Our forever home was her finally saying she planned to stay, come hell’s fury. I think she did it for me. I hated moving. I hated having no friends and no consistency. But hell’s fury is exactly what came.” I swallowed thickly. It felt like a confessional, telling him this way, talking to his back, not seeing his eyes. It was why I continued, hopeful he would understand. Hopeful his open mind would give him some inkling of understanding this, like he had understood the other part. Because then I wouldn’t be so hopelessly alone in dealing with it. “In the middle of the night a bunch of men broke in, beat her until she couldn’t stand, and lit the house on fire with us in it.”
“Stop.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Wait. Fucking hell, give me a moment. Now, I know in the rural places people can be horrible to those suppressed. Those without magic usually move to the cities. I’d heard of this kind of brutality but as some sort of . . . I don’t know, urban legend. Like the way things used to be before we all had more awareness.”
“I assure you, the fear of those without magic—the raw hatred stemming from that fear—is alive and well. People in my village worried they’d lose access to their animals if I got too close.”
“Good-fucking-grief. Fine. That’s horrible, I have fucking tears in my eyes, but fine. You were in the house, though? I’ve never heard of violence toward a child, or a family with a child. Not even for this strange sort of fear-induced-mania.”
“My mom had rejected one of the guys. I think people in the town taunted him about it. ‘Can’t even get a dud to spread her legs for you, huh? What sorta man are you?’ That festered until he turned it into violence. They were killing her. I couldn’t stay hidden like she wanted.”
“What did you do?”
My breath shuddered as I sucked in air, remembering that night. Remembering my terror and emotional agony. “I got knives from the kitchen and I stabbed as many as I could. I was young—I couldn’t do enough damage. It must’ve brought them to their senses, though, because they took off. All except the main guy. He slapped me so hard I blacked out. When I came to, she was lying in a broken heap and the house was roaring with flames.”
Pain unfurled in my middle, rising up until it dragged me under. Flames danced in my memory, blood pooling, my head pounding, my heart shattering.
“I ran,” I said as sobs made my body shake. “She told me to run, so I ran. She told me to stay alive so that I could remember her. I couldn’t move her—she was too heavy. I couldn’t drag her out. Trying made her cry out and she begged me to stop. It was so hot in there. She told me to run, so I ran. I should’ve helped her. I should’ve saved her.”
“Hey, hey.” The movement under me stopped. I felt Hadriel’s hands grip mine and hug them awkwardly, pulling me tighter against his back. “It’s okay. Listen, you’re not going to like this, but let him comfort you. It’ll help the best, okay? Give in to his comfort. Trust me.”
“Give her to me,” I heard, the voice heavy with command.
“No,” I said weakly as strong arms pulled me from the horse and crushed me close.
“Give in to it, just this once,” Hadriel said, and because his tone was riddled with pain on my behalf, and because I truly felt like he was trying to help, I did. I relaxed against the alpha as he carried me to the side, barking orders at his people to stop here for the night and set up camp.