Total pages in book: 28
Estimated words: 26170 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 131(@200wpm)___ 105(@250wpm)___ 87(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26170 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 131(@200wpm)___ 105(@250wpm)___ 87(@300wpm)
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
1
Leah
I know that curiosity killed the cat, but I can’t help myself. I have to get to the bottom of this mystery.
After all, rumor has it that there’s a very special man circulating about our parts. He’s tall, dark, and handsome, but those aren’t the only things he’s got going for him. This particular man is genetically endowed in a very special manner.
In short: he’s got two dicks.
What? How is this possible?
But it’s true. I heard the rumors at the last Junior League meeting, and frankly, it’s all the ladies could talk about.
“Stop with these lies,” Jeannie Foucault sniffed with a disdainful look. Her nose was already tilted in the air as she listened to the excited chatter. “Two dicks on one guy doesn’t exist. What you’re saying is pure horse-shit.”
Mandy looked embarrassed as her cheeks colored, but she shook her head stubbornly.
“No, it’s true,” she said in a low voice, her brown eyes darting about the room. “I heard it with my own ears.”
“Oh really,” Jeannie said in a snide tone. “Well, maybe you have too much earwax. Ever thought about going to the otolaryngologist?”
I knew that Jeannie had been waiting to use the word “otolaryngologist” to show off her vocabulary. It’s just a fancy scientific word for ear, nose, and throat doctor, but Jeannie takes every opportunity to show-off like she’s prepping for the SATs. After all, the blonde bitch went to a four-year university, while the rest of us enrolled at our local junior college. But Mandy merely shook her head again while biting her lip, her eyes still brimming with nervous energy.
“No, I heard it from my aunt. My Aunt Emily went on a date with the mystery man, and she said it was true!”
“Oh really, and pray tell, what exactly did your aunt say exactly?” Jeannie asks, her tone dripping sarcasm. “Tell us, word for word. And are you certain your aunt had her glasses on? Your Aunt Emily is at least forty, right? Most people that age need bifocals.”
I rolled my eyes because Jeannie was obviously in an especially catty mood. Forty is too early for bifocals, but I didn’t want to bring down fire and brimstone on myself, so I ignored her and shot Mandy an encouraging smile.
“Really? What did your aunt say? I want to know.”
My friend casts a grateful look my way, and smiles before lowering her voice conspiratorially. All of us lean forward because this is sure to be juicy.
“Well, Aunt Emily said that they started kissing, and things progressed from there. He took off her dress, then her panties, and then she was helping him take off his pants—”
“Hurry up,” Jeannie interrupts in a snide voice. “I’m getting gray hairs here.” I shoot the blonde a look that could wither grass, but turn back to Mandy with another encouraging smile.
“And?”
Mandy’s so excited now that her brown curls are practically standing on end.
“Well, Aunt Emily said that after the pants came off, her date revealed that he has two dicks, that’s what! He’s especially endowed, and in a way that’s totally inconceivable. My aunt said she almost fainted because it was so crazy.”
The girls in our circle gasped, eyes like saucers.
“Are you serious?” Chrissy whispered. “How can that even exist?”
“It sounds like something out of a horror story,” Evelyn chimed in.
“Or the best fantasy romance I’ve ever read,” added Octavia in a dreamy voice. “After all, you know that can happen in sci-fi romance, right? Heck, it’s practically par for the course. They have octopuses that probe your sensitive parts with their tentacles, or sea creatures that put suckers on your you-know-what. Or there are aliens from outer space with appendages the size of baseball bats. Then they force the heroine to sit on it with no lube, and she screams but loves it, and–”
“Octavia, that’s enough,” Jeannie snapped. Our queen bee hates not being the center of attention, and she wanted to assert her control. “This is so silly, and you read too much anyways. You’re the one who’s going to need bifocals soon.”
I rolled my eyes because Jeannie was seriously losing it. This girl acts like she’s a princess, while the rest of us are nothing but ladies in waiting. Hell, we’re practically chambermaids, come to think of it.
But still, we were intrigued by the tall tale, and even Jeannie couldn’t help herself.
“So tell me,” she rasped, shooting Mandy a look. “How is this man doubly-endowed, as you claim? Were the dicks stacked one right on top of another vertically, or are they horizontal, like a vee? Does one point to the left, and the other to the right? Pray tell.”
Mandy shook her head with regret.
“I don’t know,” she murmured. “I didn’t think to ask about the particulars of his anatomy because I was so stunned by the revelation. Aunt Emily didn’t get into it either. She could barely get out the basics, and I didn’t want to pry.”